Holy Smokes!

Who knew Hannah Montana could make me bawl like a little baby?

Is this a little...

Shocking?

Disturbing?

Pathetic?

Probably a combo of all of thee above.

But first I should probably back up to Friday, because that is when this whole cry-fest of a weekend started.

I hung out with Dominic, who is less than 2 months away from moving over 1,600 miles away. That was the first major crack in my already fragile emotional armour.

THEN, when I walked in the door from being with him, I was greeted with a BEAUTIFUL, SPARKLING, CLEAN house. When I had left it earlier it was nice & clean but when I came home it was IMMACULATE. You see, I have been blessed with a daughter who thrives on cleaning.

She had done the whole. entire. house.

I know...impressive.

BUT - I soon found out it came with strings attached.

She wanted to have friends over. I just wasn't in the mood.

I know, I know...MEAN MOM!!!!

She was crushed, then she was mad. I felt bad, but not bad enough to change my mind.

The rest of the day was meh.

Finally I had had enough of that day.

I was cranky and annoyed so I headed up to my room.

There was NOTHING on.

I came across Friday Night Lights it was about mid-way through the episode. I had never seen it before. It was good. VERY GOOD. SO good that Saturday I had it on my to-do list to go out and get. Which I did. Bill and I spent Saturday afternoon watching a few episodes while the kids were all out. I kept finding myself wiping puddles of tears from my face.

I AM NOT AN EMOTIONAL PERSON!!!!!

What in the H is going on with me???

pregnant?

menopause?

NEITHER are a GOOD diagnosis.

It must be the toll of the last several months and worrying about what our future holds. All I know is at some point during this weekend, I found myself sitting in a movie theater, with both my daughters and my husband, watching a girl I was SURE we'd be over by now, and I was BAWLING!!!!!

LOVE this song. LOVE the message.


For the record: I LIKE this girl, I like her music. I even listen to it if there are no kids around. I think she is VERY talented. And I CERTAINLY wouldn't want to be 16 years old with the eyes of the world watching my every move WAITING for me to make a wrong one. In my house, we make sure our kids know that the things and people to be admired are ones that work hard, learn from their mistakes and treat people well. Money, fame, glitz & glamour are fleating.

Also: I was distracted by her teeth through most of the movie, am I being shallow and nit-picky?

And: Billy Ray's chest is getting "old-man" looking.

Just sayin'....


*****


Sunday night was spent consolling Emmy about Easter.

It was SO sad.

This year we did NOTHING for Easter.

No Easter pageant.

No egg hunt.

No family get together.

She was really upset about it.

Next year I will have to remember that age is just a number and family traditions should stay intact. Sometimes I think that the kids are/should be past something and CLEARLY they are not.

Hope everyone had a Hoppy Easter. (ha ha haaa... )

Happy 14th Birthday Holly!

14 years. Wow.

None of our children were planned, on our end, and they all know that. Which just goes to prove that just because WE don't have a plan, doesn't mean there is not a PLAN FOR US, Holly is proof of this. I was pregnant and had a miscarriage and then almost 3 months later got pregnant again, this time with Holly. This child was CHOSEN for US, no doubt in my mind.

She is just a GOOD, GOOD person. She was born with a hyper-sensitive moral compass (which comes in handy when dealing with her parents.) As Chelsea so perfectly said the other day, "When Holly was born, they forgot to take off her halo before they sent her down from Heaven." So True.

Also, the girl is FIERCELY loyal. She will defend your honor and NEVER talk behind your back. You can tell her ANYTHING and she will take it to the grave if that's what you ask of her. If it's something that NEEDS to be told, she will try to convince you to do the right thing, but will not do it for you.

Holly got her name from a character in a movie; Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's, my all-time favorite. One day, when I was about 4 months pregnant, it just hit me. I KNEW she would be "a" Holly. The character is smart, funny, eccentric, naive, innocently mischievous, and loyal. All of these things ARE MY Holly. And, the girl knows how to have FUN!

I love You Holly, and I'm so happy I get to be your mom!

Happy Birthday!