Taking a Break

(We'll see how long I last, I might be back by dinner.)


Its so funny how if you take one child out of the mix everything changes. Holly left for camp yesterday morning, and boy was it quiet around here yesterday! Emmy is SO bored without her here, no one to bicker with. Emmy & I went to our first Tuesday Morning Breakfast of the summer, just the two of us, that was fun. Then yesterday afternoon, her & I went for a walk, we saw so many little critters! We saw Cotton-tail rabbits, ground squirrels, Roadrunners, Lizards, desert toads, etc.

I think today her and I will make Tiramisu Cupcakes. So yummy.


Bullets (that's all I got)

• Yesterday at church, everyone kept coming up and saying "Did you get your hair cut?" after about the 10th idiot person asking this, it was all I could do not to give a complete smarta** comment in return. I'm bad.

• A friend called Thursday as they were going out of town and asked if we could watch her dog, I said yes. The thing is, I think they might abuse him. EVERY time we go to pet him or pick him up he he flinches & cowers. It's so sad. They have 4 boys, so yeah, I'm sure the dog has seen his fair share of tail yanking. Also, his name is Brutus, but for some reason my brain can't comprehend that, I keep calling him Ruffus.

• Holly leaves for Girls Camp tomorrow, have to get her all ready.

• Austin got his braces on last week, he hasn't spoke since then. So sad. He's in a lot of pain.

• Emmy's pink glitter shoes FINALLY had a blow out. These are the shoes that Dominic had a fit over that I was buying them for her, and I quote, "I can't believe you are buying those hideous shoes. If she keeps up these fashion choices, she is one step away from living in a trailer park." Not sure where all the outrage for pink glitter is coming from, but he REALLY had a problem with them.

• I really should be doing laundry right now. I do NOT want to.


Me & The Birthday Girl

Yikes! She's as tall as me.

Happy 14th Birthday Holly!

14 years. Wow.

None of our children were planned, on our end, and they all know that. Which just goes to prove that just because WE don't have a plan, doesn't mean there is not a PLAN FOR US, Holly is proof of this. I was pregnant and had a miscarriage and then almost 3 months later got pregnant again, this time with Holly. This child was CHOSEN for US, no doubt in my mind.

She is just a GOOD, GOOD person. She was born with a hyper-sensitive moral compass (which comes in handy when dealing with her parents.) As Chelsea so perfectly said the other day, "When Holly was born, they forgot to take off her halo before they sent her down from Heaven." So True.

Also, the girl is FIERCELY loyal. She will defend your honor and NEVER talk behind your back. You can tell her ANYTHING and she will take it to the grave if that's what you ask of her. If it's something that NEEDS to be told, she will try to convince you to do the right thing, but will not do it for you.

Holly got her name from a character in a movie; Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's, my all-time favorite. One day, when I was about 4 months pregnant, it just hit me. I KNEW she would be "a" Holly. The character is smart, funny, eccentric, naive, innocently mischievous, and loyal. All of these things ARE MY Holly. And, the girl knows how to have FUN!

I love You Holly, and I'm so happy I get to be your mom!

Happy Birthday!


The Wonder Twins get in an "Accident"

So yesterday about 3:00, Emmy, Austin & I had just got to Target and we were just walking around killing time while the power was out at the house from the "storm." About 3 minutes after we got there my phone rings. It's LoveStud (Bill). He tells me he's been in an accident. He's fine but he can't get out of the truck. Jeff was driving and they were in his truck. We happen to be at the Target that was about 3 miles from where they were at, so we left and headed there.

The Details:
Jeff, Bill and Sean (one of their Superindendants) had been "shoe shopping" (they were all getting new work boots) and were on their way back to the office. Now 99.9% of the time Bill would be driving HIS truck, but yesterday he told Jeffrey to drive, They were in Jeff's truck (which is big, but not as big as Bill's) and a LITTLE car with a mom and 3 small kids turned left in front of them. When we got to the site it was AWFUL. Jeff's truck was TOTALLED and the other car was literally smashed in half. BUT, EVERYONE was RELATIVELY speaking, okay. The mom and all the kids were fine, Jeff & Sean were both fine, only Bill had any injuries, which is just his arm from the AirBag. And boy, will he be milking it. (Now that I know everyone is fine, I can say this)

So on to this morning:

I'm up and on the computer at 4:30, I hear Bill get up and a few minutes later he comes out to where I am. He says, "Oh, I want you to take a picture of my arm for your blog" (See, how now that it has to do with him, this little blog is suddenly not so silly? Attention Whore.)

So I take a photo.

(The picture doesn't do it justice, IT IS pretty bad. (Bill Told me to write that))

Me: Come sit by me so you can tell me what you want me to write in the post.

Bill: Write that Jeffrey tried to KILL me.

Drama Queen.

*** Bill REQUESTS that EVERYONE leave a comment. (He's an Only Child, he NEEDS lots of Attention, Can you tell?)



Originally uploaded by kthorpe_cosgrove

Hide N' Seek

We live in an area that has a lot of newly built homes, so there are lots of Model Homes to look at. If we are bored, we'll pop on over and just wander from house to house. We enjoy doing this and the girls do also, so they go with us. So a couple of weeks ago, on a late Saturday afternoon we decide to go over.

They were not busy, at all, so we were just kind of being slow & lingering about at each house. The girls started getting a little bored so they decided to play Hide N' Seek. ( I'm mean and don't let them play it inside at our house, but at the Models...SURE, Go Right Ahead! Have Fun! )

At one set of homes, there were 3 models.

We went to the first, then left.

We went to the second, and right away the girls started their game.

Bill & I continued to look around.

We get to the Master Bath and Bill starts in on this whole dialogue as to why he likes this house better, and we should have chosen this one, etc. We come to the conclusion that it's not so much the house that he likes better, but THIS bathroom.

Bill: I like that they give more options.

Me: uh-huh.

Bill: I like the "Snail Shower"

Me: Yeah, its nice.

Bill: I like the seat in the shower. You know what we call that in the homes we build?

Me: No, but I have a feeling, I can figure it out.

Bill: Yeah? Well why don't I just show you....X X X....x x x.... .....LOVE BATHROOM ...x x x....

(Okay, I will take mercy on you and stop the verbatim commentary right here. I'm sure you can get the gist of how this conversation proceded for the next 10 minutes.)

So, I fight him off and we wrap up our CONVERSATION ( nothing else, I promise ) and we head out of the Master Bedroom. We call out to the girls that we're going to the 3rd house.

Emmy comes out of hiding. We wait a bit longer for Holly, she never comes out. So we holler out, "Holly, we're leaving. We'll be at the next house."

We are at House #3 and about 5 minutes later Holly FINALLY shows up.

Us: There You are! Where were you? What took you so long?

Holly: Lets just say I was recuperating.

us: Recuperating ? From what ?

Holly: Lots of VERY DISTURBING stuff.

Us: ......? ? ? ? ?

Holly: Two words. LOVE. BATHROOM.

( she had been hiding in the Master Closet )


We have a Winner!

A couple of weekends ago Em had a Regional Cheer Competition, her squad took 1st place, so they qualified to go to the State Competition which was yesterday. Once again, her squad took 1st Place. Yay!

Congratulations Emmy!


It's an 80's Flashback, Baby!

This all started with Emmy having 80's Day at school. (which she did not participate in...whole other story)

Then I got on a site that was talking about songs/music from the 80's. And I've just been taking a trip down memory lane (The GOOD side of the lane, not the BAD side - we're blocking those out FOREVER!) Anyhoo, here you go.

The music was THE BEST! This is just a small sample, But really, does it get ANY better than Billy Squire. No.

2 for 1 photo: 80's HAIR & 80's CLOTHES
You were NOTHING unless you had high-waisted, acid-washed denim as a staple in your wardrobe. Look at me, I even have the matching jean jacket. I was classy. (ohhh, I just saw that slight baring of belly flesh. Scandalous!)

Thank goodness someone came up with the Flat Iron invention!

One more, just for kicks!

The 80's ROCKED!
Have I said how happy I'll be when school is FINALLY out?
Only 3 more days. Yay!!!

Have I said how worried I am?
There is ONLY 3 more days of school. ARGGGHHH!


I am REALLY questioning my ability of getting through the next few years with my sanity intact. In all seriousness, I just don't understand how millions of parents have gotten through the teenage years without:

A. Ending up a complete mess.

B. Landing themselves in jail.

Everything is drama, and I mean EVERYTHING.

After awhile (is that word right? I just rewrote it like 6 or 7 times. never realized its kind of a weird word. awhile. a while. anyhoo...moving along.) you just stop being able to be SO invested, so when something real comes along, you really have to be convinced that it is REAL DRAMA, not just,

"You made my bangs look HID-E-OUS!!!" (tears, tears. tears. Stomp around. More tears, tears, tears)


if you don't leave an HOUR EARLY to get somewhere that is 5 MINUTES away, its "We're going to be LATE and they will TAKE MY AWARD AWAY." (tears, tears, stomp, tears) Yes, cause that is what people do. They take away awards for people that are only 50 minutes EARLY instead of an hour EARLY.

Can you tell I've had a long last 12 hours?


New Hair-Do Photoshoot


Oh man...Chelsea is going to KILL ME when she sees that little piece of hair in the back. I kept talking and moving around and would not sit still. So it's my fault, not hers, she is AWESOME! (also, can you see my scar running down my neck? I'll probably let it grow a little to cover that part)


Okay, obviously this is not the front of my hair, it's my Powder Room. I just did a 30 minute photoshoot (and had you been a fly on the wall you would have realized that yes, it did in fact, LOOK as ridiculous as it SOUNDS.) But it was clear to me when I uploaded the pic's, that before I can post a "Front view" photo, I need to do some things first.

1. Get Botox
2. Get Rhinoplasty (Nose job)
3. Lose 30 pounds
4. Grow at least 5 inches
5. Get cuter clothes (with at least one of them being a turtlneck)

So, just as soon as I am able to knock these things off my list, I will post a photo. For now, you'll just have to take my word for it. It's cute! (The hairdo that is.)


B & L: A Hairy Conversation

Boy today is the day of multiple posts.

Bill just got home and saw the new hair, this was our conversation.

B: Awww, your hair looks good!

Me: So you like?

B: Yeah, I DO.

Me: Would you say you LIKE it or LOVE it. Like on a scale of 1 to 5 stars, how many stars would I get?

B: Oh..I don't know...I'd say four. 4 Stars.

Me: 4, that's pretty good, but why not 5? What's missing?

B: Well, I'm just waiting to see what it looks like TOMORROW, when YOU do it. If it's all frizzy and a big puff ball, I may just have to take the 4 stars back. But if it looks the same, then I can bump it up to 5 stars.

So, there you go. I guess I WON'T be washing my hair from here on out in hopes it wil stay "as is"
I just got back from getting my hair done. I got it cut short!!!!!! I love it. My camera battery is charging so don't judge too harshly with the PhotoBooth photo (Actually, none are getting a good photo, so I will post one later.) I like it, I feel all fresh & sassy.

On to other breaking news....She's having TWINS!!!!! Yay! (MUST. HAVE. THESE. SUNGLASSES! I am DYING, I have to find out who they are and how to get them!))

UPDATE: They are Bulgari - BV862 Havana/Brown

Famous Americans: Emmy

At the end of the school year there are TONS of programs, awards, parties, etc. Emmy & Austin each had big projects for their grades. Emmy's 5Th Grade class had the topic of Famous Americans, and she got assigned Sacajawea.
You know, THIS chick lady, the one on the Golden Dollar coin.

She did all of the research and wrote the report, (which BTW, she got a 100 out of 100 points, thankyouverymuch) and she asked me to do the costume (parents were allowed to help, buy or make) Now, I did not get ONE "domestic gene" but I think I did pretty good considering...

I present to you, Sacajawea. (Look- I even did the baby. Isn't it cute?!)

World's Fair: Austin

Austin's 6Th grade project topic was World's Fair. Austin was given the country of Greece, which he was VERY excited about. (When we sent Dominic on his European trip last summer, he brought Austin back a hat from Greece, now it is known as his "Lucky Hat" and he NEVER takes it off.)

Austin did GREAT on his project and needed NO help from us other than going to the store to buy him Grape Juice to serve, (in lieu of wine - something about not wanting to get the other students tipsy; yada, yada, yada...WHAT-EVER!)



Mother's Day

It's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep, so I thought I'd do the Mother's Day Post that I forgot to do yesterday.

While we were at dinner the night before, Holly & Emmy were at home making the most scrumptious treats for us. They made an Almond Joy cake, chocolate covered strawberries, Macadamia Nut & Almond Chocolate Cluster's, as well as some very cute cards. And then they package them like you would find in the finest little chocolate shops. Holly is a chocolatier. She comes up with the cutest ideas and the tastiest treats. The Holy Grail of it all was she had taken my Costco mango strips and hand dipped each one in dark chocolate. Oh. My. Gosh. The most AMAZING creation ever.

So while I was admiring all of the girls treats, Emmy went in and cooked me the BEST breakfast. Scrambled eggs with green chili's & cheese, and diced tomatoes on the side. So Yummy!

And since the day was not over yet, the spoilling continued with Austin cooking us dinner. He makes the best hamburgers, really he does, he is famous all over our neighborhood for them.

So thanks guys, for using your mad cooking skills to make my day! I LOVE YOU!

(This picture is old, but I like it alot. The older boys weren't here in person, just in spirit.)

And just to let you know that I don't have a TOTALLY perfect life, there was some "quiet time" spent in their rooms for a couple of them. But I won't mention any names.

And to all the mother's I know, I hope you had a wonderful day!



Someone's just discovered ComicLife on their MacBook. I predict an onslot of posts with comics to come.....


My sister, Denise, and I took our mom out to dinner for Mother's Day, we also let all the boys come along, (um, hello, who else was gonna pay if they didn't?) We went to a new place, EJ's, It was really good, we had a lot of fun.

It's so unfair, Denise NEVER takes a bad photo, and I never take a good one. Don't our parents look great?

Now with this photo, I just know your thinking "I thought Lana said she was REALLY short, She only looks a LITTLE bit short here" Well.....

that is because I have discovered what I call my Truck Stop Tramp shoes. I REALLY stepped out of my box when I bought these shoes.

I'm in bed posting this, and Bill thinks this blog is absolutely ridiculous. He said, "I don't want everyone to think I'm married to the Crazy little old lady Troll that lives under the bridge and blogs on her computer."

I think I'm offended.


100 Things For My 100th Post

Um yeah, about that post title...This isn't my 100th post, and if you count, there are not a hundred things here. I got a little impatient and decided not to wait.

I'm impatient.

I go through about a bag a day of Halls Menthol-Eucalyptus cough drops. It's like crack to me.

I don't like my fingernails painted. If I decide to Take a Walk on the Wild Side, I will paint them....clear.

I LOVE color in my house. I always say I'm allergic to white. In fact, I am planning to paint my dining room in the new house fuchsia. (pending approval from 'the Paint Police, a.k.a Bill) Just wait, you'll see, it's going to be FAB!

I ABHOR cooking. Really, I do. And for someone with a husband and kids, this is a problem. I just find it the biggest nuisance. I get ZERO pleasure out of it, even baking. So yeah, we eat out...A LOT.

I have 3 older sisters and 1 brother. There is 8 years between me and the next sister. My brother and me are 2 months apart, he was adopted.

I have a sister that I haven't spoken to in 2 years, and I have absolutely NO PLANS to EVER speak to her again. AND I have no desire or feeling that I should "make this right" as I've been told to do. I'm just SO DONE with her.

I have another sister, that I also haven't really spoke to in awhile for completely different reasons. However, I DO MISS that sister and would love to mend that relationship. As a child she nearly raised me.

Along with "Fly under the radar," another motto of mine is "Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies." But IF you do ask, you better be prepared for the truth, because that is what you'll get with me. So if your motto is "Ignorance is Bliss" then DON'T ASK!

I have a wedding ring but 99.9% of the time I don't wear it.

I LOVE good quotes, and did so before it became trendy.

When I get a pedicure, I love to look at my toes. I am amazed how they are always able to make them SO cute given the hideousness that they have to work with.

My favorite moment of the day is when I know I have nowhere else to go, so I whip off my bra. I love that feeling.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE cold sheets!

Along with V-neck t-shirts and Target jeans, I also buy my flip-flops in bulk. J. Crew wedges are THE BEST. I do wear others, but those are my fav's.

I have a toe ring that I wear that I got when Bill took me to Hawaii for my 35th B-day. I really like it. But when I got home and the girls saw it, they thought I was the biggest Hoochie. They live a sheltered life.

When I was 10-ish I had a paper route, and back in "those days" we had to go door to door each month to collect the payment. There was one house (actually there were several) that had a man & lady. Every month before I went up to the door I would pray that the lady would answer. She seldom did. The guy just gave me BAD VIBES from day one. Then one month he answers the door in these super TINY shorts. Lets just say he was "going commando" and the commandos were flying out of the shorts. I ran. fast. I still gave him a newspaper every day but I never went collecting to his house again. I paid for his subscription out of my tips.

We've been married 15 years. We eloped to Las Vegas. NO ONE thought it would last 6 months, including us.

I had to have neck surgery when I was 20. I'm still not exactly sure why. But if your talking to me and I look like a robot when I try to turn my head, THAT'S why.

HANDS DOWN the BEST thing Bill has ever bought me was my laptop, and he's gotten me A LOT of really nice things. I worship the surface my laptop sits on. Lana + Mac Book = True Love!

My name is pronounced Lana, like Lana Banana. But growing up people, teachers, kids, EVERYBODY would say Lana, like rhymes with Donna. I would correct them, then one day I just got tired of correcting and stopped. If they say Lana (banana) I answer, if they say Lana (Donna) I answer. I truly don't care. It drives my parents CRAZY though when they hear Bill call me Lana (Donna). But my kids ALL use Lana (Banana) I find that funny.

I am 5 feet tall. That's SHORT!

As a child, my dad called me Half-pint.

I was born in 1969.

I was born & raised in Mesa, AZ. I lived in one house until I moved out at 17. My parents still live in that same house. Mesa is a fine place, but I REALLY hope all my kids expand their horizons and relocate to other places.
Where I WISH I was:
Vancouver, B.C.

Where I actually am:

At home on the couch. Roxy is sitting next to me, and she is snoring (Roxy is Emmy's little black & white Shih tzu) SNORING. How cute is that? I am SO READY for school to be OVER! I WANT a vacay, but there is not one in sight anytime soon. Our vacation will be packing up a crap load of stuff. Seriously, We have only been in this house 4 years. How did we get so much stuff? I HATE moving. I really need to start going through stuff, but I keep putting it off.


Also, I REALLY want to see Iron Man, hopefully we'll get to go tomorrow night. It looks SO good. Also, I saw Robert Downey Jr. on Leno the other night, and I am so happy for him. He seemed so grateful for the second chance at life and humble at the success he is having this time around. Love when people are able to triumph over personal obstacles and struggles.


It's NOT Easy Being Green

Boy, doesn't that say it all......?

Everywhere I turn, it's green, green, and more "Go Green." So, since I am constantly being bombarded with it and even the kids come home after being indoctrinated at school with it, I decide that there probably is some legitimicy to it and I figure I should maybe try and do my part to help SAVE Mother Earth.

Sure, I've bought the cute T-shirts.

I've bought the cute bags.

I EVEN bought the bags you carry to the grocery store! (It was at Sprout's and I got caught up in the whole "oh my gosh, I'm at a healthy store buying healthy foods moment" so I said, "Oh sure, I'll buy some of those reusable bags. And you don't happen to carry Birkenstocks while I'm at it do you?")

But, even with all the trendy hype, I really have not changed my ways.

I should probably start by:

NOT using a WHOLE ROLL of paper towels per day. That's right....per DAY.

NOT taking a bath AND a shower. (I fill up the bath tub WHILE I'm taking a shower. That way I can get all sparkly clean in the shower, then when I'm done, I hop out and take a bath! It is soothing & warm and I get really relaxed without having to sit in gross water.)

NOT just throwing my cans in the garbage. I should recycle them and I'd probably make BIG BUCKS in the process! I drink 3 Monster's per day. Bill drinks 3 Monster's per day, thats.....ALOT of cans per month! (Too lazy to calculate)

NOT leaving every light in the house on.

NOT driving my car that gets 5 miles per gallon around aimlessly until the people on the radio are finished talking.

These are for starters, we'll see how good I can be.

You know, as I look at this list, I realize that not only am I NOT doing my part to help, I think I single handedly might cause the demise of the entire planet!


A Phone call I hope I NEVER get again.

So, our normal routine in the morning is Holly gets up & ready. Then she leaves.

Then Emmy & Austin get up, get ready, then they leave.

While they are all getting ready I'm usualy just putzing around on the computer, then when they leave I walk them out and say good-bye etc. Then I start my stuff I have to do.

Well, this morning was a little different because I knew I had to take the car in, etc. So while they were getting ready, I was running around getting laundry started and getting MYSELF ready. So, I was in the laundry room when they left, but they hollered bye, and I heard the door shut.

Bill called about 9:30 and said he was on his way to follow me to the dealer in case my tire blew or anything. He gets here, we leave. He's following me and we're just about to get on the freeway (which is about 5 miles from home) and my phone rings. Caller ID says it's Emmy & Austins school.

Me: Hello

School: Hi, Mrs. M- is Austin home sick today and you just havn't had a chance to call it in yet?

Me: umm...Nooo.

School: Is he at home?

me: no. He's at school.

School: Well, his teacher marked him absent, let me call her room to see if she marked him by mistake.

silence while she checks with the teacher

school: Mrs. M- Austin never showed up to school today, are you SURE he's not at home?

My heart is racing.

And I think back through the morning. I woke him up. He came down and ate. He went back upstairs. I heard him get in the shower. I said bye. I heard the door shut.


My body started shaking uncontrollably and I could not speak.

me: well, I'm not at home.

school: do you want me to send someone over to check?

me: yes!

me: Wait, I have a dog in the house who will NEVER let you get past him. My husband is right behind me, let me call him.

So, I call Bill. He flips the truck around as I'm telling him and blows through the red light blaring his horn. He flies home.

meanwhile, I also turned around and am heading back home. I can barely drive. Bill is going SO fast that I lose him in my sight. I'm trying not to go to fast because of the tire.

Finally my phone rings again.

It is Bill.

He found Austin.

In his room. Curled up in a ball, naked and still wrapped up in his towel.


In his bed.

(another entry for Mother of the Year)
If anyone has ANY advice for surviving/dealing with preteen girls and their constant eye-rolling & mouthiness I would REALLY appreciate it. A little thing called "The Law" prevents me from beating her, so I need other options.

SIDENOTE: How cute is the little Yahoo! banner for Cinco Di Mayo? It's kind of It's a Small World-esque, don't ya think? Love it! (it's the little things that make me happy)


* Costco has these dried mangos that are (in the famous words of crazy Tom Cruise) AMAZING! So much so, that I have downed almost the whole bag this weekend. Now my stomach feels all blaghh.

* We ran over a nail, so I have a flat tire. I'll have to take it to the dealer Monday because when the little thiefs ramsackled my car they took me tire lock key. (I didn't even know I had such a thing until I went to get the tire fixed and they gave me the news, I guess Bill knew and he was told it was in the glove box...)
(After I posted this I proofread it, but I'm leaving in the "me' tire lock key...It makes me feel Irish and goes along with my leprechaun size stature)

* I'm reading THEE funniest chic-lit book, Bitter is the New Black. I'll probably be done with it this afternoon.

* Tonight we are going to watch 27 Dresses, I hope it's good, because I don't think anything is on tonight.

That's all I got. I am lame.


I think it's common knowledge that I'm well schooled in all things "Pop Culture" (celebrity gossip). But this week drove me up the wall. Mariah Carey has a new album out so she is ALL OVER the place promoting it. This is not good. I'm not sure why, but I can't stand her. I don't like her songs, and to watch her sing makes me gag. I want to take her hand and chop it off when she starts singing in the high pitch range and she sticks her hand up and "air chops" as she sings. Ugh. And what the hell is up with her and butterflies? She is a GROWN woman for pete's sake, stop with the butterflies already....Oh, and did you see her closet on Oprah? Obnoxious!

Okay, this is sad-why am I getting all worked up over this? I need to go get a life and do something productive.....

But first I have to go check People.com for any breaking news.



We went to Costco last night. Bill drove my car and forgot to lock it. When he went outside this morning this is what he saw.

Not a good thing to see first thing in the morning.

Bill had taken my car to the car wash Saturday, so it didn't really have anything in there except a box of house stuff. They didn't touch it. But they riffled through my glove box and ripped the TV out. Nice. But they left the headphones...idiots.

I will be SO HAPPY to finally have a garage that our car & truck fit in.