Holy Smokes!

Who knew Hannah Montana could make me bawl like a little baby?

Is this a little...

Shocking?

Disturbing?

Pathetic?

Probably a combo of all of thee above.

But first I should probably back up to Friday, because that is when this whole cry-fest of a weekend started.

I hung out with Dominic, who is less than 2 months away from moving over 1,600 miles away. That was the first major crack in my already fragile emotional armour.

THEN, when I walked in the door from being with him, I was greeted with a BEAUTIFUL, SPARKLING, CLEAN house. When I had left it earlier it was nice & clean but when I came home it was IMMACULATE. You see, I have been blessed with a daughter who thrives on cleaning.

She had done the whole. entire. house.

I know...impressive.

BUT - I soon found out it came with strings attached.

She wanted to have friends over. I just wasn't in the mood.

I know, I know...MEAN MOM!!!!

She was crushed, then she was mad. I felt bad, but not bad enough to change my mind.

The rest of the day was meh.

Finally I had had enough of that day.

I was cranky and annoyed so I headed up to my room.

There was NOTHING on.

I came across Friday Night Lights it was about mid-way through the episode. I had never seen it before. It was good. VERY GOOD. SO good that Saturday I had it on my to-do list to go out and get. Which I did. Bill and I spent Saturday afternoon watching a few episodes while the kids were all out. I kept finding myself wiping puddles of tears from my face.

I AM NOT AN EMOTIONAL PERSON!!!!!

What in the H is going on with me???

pregnant?

menopause?

NEITHER are a GOOD diagnosis.

It must be the toll of the last several months and worrying about what our future holds. All I know is at some point during this weekend, I found myself sitting in a movie theater, with both my daughters and my husband, watching a girl I was SURE we'd be over by now, and I was BAWLING!!!!!

LOVE this song. LOVE the message.


For the record: I LIKE this girl, I like her music. I even listen to it if there are no kids around. I think she is VERY talented. And I CERTAINLY wouldn't want to be 16 years old with the eyes of the world watching my every move WAITING for me to make a wrong one. In my house, we make sure our kids know that the things and people to be admired are ones that work hard, learn from their mistakes and treat people well. Money, fame, glitz & glamour are fleating.

Also: I was distracted by her teeth through most of the movie, am I being shallow and nit-picky?

And: Billy Ray's chest is getting "old-man" looking.

Just sayin'....


*****


Sunday night was spent consolling Emmy about Easter.

It was SO sad.

This year we did NOTHING for Easter.

No Easter pageant.

No egg hunt.

No family get together.

She was really upset about it.

Next year I will have to remember that age is just a number and family traditions should stay intact. Sometimes I think that the kids are/should be past something and CLEARLY they are not.

Hope everyone had a Hoppy Easter. (ha ha haaa... )

Hey Ya'll!

Slowly coming out of hibernation.

Its been a LONG, DARK winter.

***

So...how's everyone doing?

hanging' in there?

***

Just a little nugget from Tuesday night that made me oh so happy.

Yes, that's right -
There is a BRAND SPANKIN' NEW batch of Real Housewives and these ones are from NEW JERSEY!!!!

I'm Super. Excited.


NOTE: UGGG!!! Just tried to add a YouTube clip for you, but there is NONE.

How can this be?

Long time coming.

okay.

I'm ready...here we go.

Yes, I kept it.

We've now moved on to turtles.

This still sucks.

Big.

Time.

Too Cool!

I signed up to receive a free 'Obama' pin to add to my pin collection. as a result, I've received A LOT of propaganda. This particular thing I found to be hillarious. I've watched it about 30 times.

The Trunk

How do you know when it's okay to let go of something?

If someone takes the time or makes an effort to give me something, I will find some way to use it, and will probably never get rid of it. I also have this same problem in regards to things that remind me of certain situations, time periods or my children.

If they draw me a picture or write me a note, you KNOW I will be keeping it.

The trouble comes in trying to find space to KEEP all this stuff. I mean, its not to the point yet where I have stacks of stuff lining the hallways and emergency personnel will have a difficult time getting the gurney in should I need help. But I feel its getting close.

I have been trying to clean things out and widdle down to things I ABSOLUTELY love. I'm tired of "stuff" I just want nice, clean, spaces.

But we've come across a....I don't know what word I'm looking for here. But I have a trunk, I want to keep it, Bill wants Goodwill to get it.

So for now it sits in a trailor awaiting its fate.

He sees HIDEOUS.

I see:

A new beginning.

• We were just coming out of a VERY ROUGH few years. We had both gotten to the point where we were done with living the way things were, and if we were going to make our marriage and our family work, LOTS of things had to change.
  And they did.

• I had just lost custody of my oldest son, and it nearly sent me to the brink of despair. But had to then come to the realization that I had to snap out of it for all involved, my self pity wasn't going to do him or me or anyone any good. It was what it was and I had to make the best of it.

• I was pregnant with Awesome Austin.
  

I saw the trunk at a yard sale down the street from the apartment in Little Mexico. They were asking $20.00 for it. I wanted it DESPERATELY. It was a Friday morning. I did not have .20 cents let alone $20.00. It stayed there.

The next day, when we went out for our walk again, I noticed it was still there. I stopped to look at it again, and the person having the yard sale said, "you can have it for $5.00." I said I'd have to come back, as I didn't have money with me (or at home or anywhere else for that matter). I spent the next few hours so nervous someone would come along and buy it. Bill FINALLY got home from work and I told him about it and how much it was, he told me I should go buy it, and gave me 5 bucks from the paycheck he had just cashed.

Bill stayed with the kids while I FLEW down to that house. It was still there. I gave her the money and dragged the trunk home. I set it up as an end table by the couch. I placed some magazines on it that my mother had given me, and put a little plant on it. I felt like I had just made the literal transformation to
Suzy Homemaker.

Every time we have moved, it has made the move with us, and most of the time it has been spent being a coffee table.

1995: The Apartment

2001 Halloween: The Rental House


2007 Dominic: SE Valley House
(lower RH corner you can see the edge)



You know what?

IT'S STAYING!!!!

Who knew doing this post was going to be such an emotional rollercoaster for me?
..

Once again, I win!
(not that I'm keeping score or anything.)


Off Topic: Last night I made this Peanut Butter Pie. OMG!!! SOOOO good! I added shaved chocolate on top...to die for. You people need to stop already with the good recipes-this "Troll-Body" can't afford to gain anymore weight!

Shrimp

So, about six months ago, the girls start begging for a new pet.  I tell them "NO.  I think 93 dogs is enough."

They keep pleading and bugging over the next few weeks.  I finally give in and say they can get another fish.   So one day, I dropped them off at PetSmart while I went to Wal-Mart so they could pick out their new fish.  When I pick them up, they come out and they are both just GRINNING from ear to ear, "We got Shrimp!"  Now if you knew my daughter Holly, at this point you would think,  Shrimp, of course, it makes PERFECT sense.

There was four shrimp, and they set up their home on the bathroom counter, as the bathroom is common domain.

Well, I thought they'd live a couple of weeks, and then we'd be done.

OH NO.  Those suckers live forever.

Or so I thought.

I had held off on relocating them, hoping they would die, so I could just wash out the tank and be done with it.  (again, another nomination for Mother of the Year!)

So Emmy is with me last week, I was downstairs and she was upstairs. 

I finished what I had been doing, and went up to help her.  I see her in the bathroom leaning over the tank with the Shrimp food shaker.

I yell, "WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Emmy:  "I'm feeding the shrimp.  Oh mom, you should have seen them, I got here in JUST the nick of time.  They were almost dead."

I was THIS close to being free of having that tank on the counter.  ARGGHH!

So I breathe a heavy sigh and come to the realization that the shrimp and their habitat will be relocating as well.  So yesterday I put them in the car and when I got here I brought them in and put them on my bathroom counter for the time being.

This morning I was giving Muffin a haircut and Emmy came in and saw the tank.

E:  OHHH...Yay.  I didn't know they were here.

Me:  Yeah, I brought them yesterday.  See, I'm a nice mom after all.

Emmy peers into the tank, then she lets out a shreek-

THEY'RE ALL CUT IN HALF!!!!  

WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOO?  

YOUR A SHRIMP KILLERRRRR!!!!!!!

and she runs to her room, furious with me.

Add Murderous Shrimp Killer to my LONG list of names.

FOR THE RECORD:  I guess the rocks on the bottom of their tank, shifted back and forth in the car and they must have got caught up in them.  I did not cut them in half.

Amy

As I've stated on this blog about oh, I don't know, maybe a thousand times (sorry) I am a HUGE music fan, I LOVE it. And a favorite at my house is one Amy Winehouse. In fact, if you were to go on a Road Trip with me and my fam, there would be 3 things you could be guaranteed of: Amy, Garth and Kid Rock. oh...AND lots of Bathroom Breaks. Anywhoo, where was I.....

Ah yes, Amy, or as a site I go to, calls her, The Crackie of Camden. Anyways, EVERY TIME i see a picture of her or a headline with her name, I'm sure that its going to say she's dead. It's such a shame she can't get a hold of her life, she is SO talented. I love her!


Yes, this was kind of a random post, but hey, I'm busy. Cut me some slack okay.

Pink Lemonade Pie

Due to popular demand (ummm...okay, maybe just U.K.) I am posting this recipe that I originally got from Shanell. I LOVE it! It's SUPER EASY and CHEAP to make. (I think I spend about $4.00 and it makes 2 pies) But try and have more self-control than I have. I have been eating this all summer long!

Ingredients:
1/2 gallon vanilla ice cream
Cool Whip (regular size)
Pink Lemonade Frozen concentrate
2 Graham Cracker Pie crust (or you can just use 1 of the "+2 Servings" size Crust, and make it extra full, I think that's what Shanell does)



1. Let ingredients thaw to room temperature.
2. Mix together.

3. pour 1/2 into each pre-made Graham cracker crust
4. put in freezer till frozen
5. eat & enjoy!

Tip: You can use ANY FLAVOR of frozen concentrate. I just really like the Pink Lemonade. But I bet it would be great with Limeade (Key Lime Pie-esque) or you could try orange juice, or cranberry juice, or whatever your fancy is!

Scout Camp

While we were gone to Seattle, Austin was off to Scout Camp.

Backstory: Austin is not a fan of leaving the house. EVER. We've had to bribe him to go to Disneyland, the movies, treats, EVERYTHING. If he was told he just won a million dollars but had to go out to pick it up, he'd pass on it. He's also not a complainer, if I tell him he must do something, he just does it.

So anyways, I had to have him stay with my mother-in-law a couple days before hand, and she dropped him off to camp for us.

Well, they were to come home yesterday, and all morning I was so nervous that he would never speak to me again for making him go. The last long campout he went on he walked through the front door saying "Mom, Can I PLEASE quit Scouts?" I told him as soon as he got his Eagle, he would no longer have to go if that is what he wished.

So yesterday about 2-ish my phone rings, its Austin.

"Mom, I missed you so much, we're back, can you come pick me up?"

When we got there he was SO happy to see us. But the best thing?

He got 7....SEVEN...Merit Badges!

And, I think he even had a good time.

Cross-Off

At dinner Thursday night, we had a Cross-Eyed Contest.

You know, 'cause were sophisticated like that.

Contestant #1

Contestant #2

Contestant #3


Ummm...okay, I know that Contestant #3 looks a little....how do I say this?

"Special"?

He's not.

He's just new at these "contests".

Wait. No he's not.

He was the creator of them.

I have no explanation.

Mama Mia!

Question.

1.  Who in the heck did the casting for this movie?  They need to be fired.

2.  Was there no one in Hollywood available that could sing?  If they would have told me, I could have gave them my ward list and they would have done a better job.

3.  If  Sophie (the daughter) is 20 and her mom got pregnant with her in late teens-21'ish, than WHY was the mother who played her at least 60?  As well as EVERY other lead in the movie? (not that there is anything thing wrong with 60 year olds, but they're supposed to be 40!!!!!)

I HATED it!  I was so disappointed.  With the amount of money spent on making it, why was it SO crappy?  I did kind of like Sophie, but that's it!

I'm so annoyed right now, can you tell?

If you saw the movie, tell me your thoughts.

I'm SO glad I'm Married!

Because I could not handle dating or dodging phone calls like this.


http://view.break.com/527579 - Watch more free videos

How was your weekend?

Because mine was Fab-U-Lous!

Sit down, because your going to be JEALOUS!

• We had a Tie-Dye-Palooza!

• Went to Wal-Mart to get some movies & treats for Movie Night and overheard some pretty priceless WM employee conversations.

• Watched Sydney White & The 7 Dorks. LOVED it!

• We went to a Cheer meeting where we found out that Emmy made the "Blazzin' Hotties" squad! Yea, Em!
  

(FYI: Googling "Blazzin' Hotties" image for blog...NOT A GOOD IDEA! Hence the reason there is NO IMAGE here)

• Took Holly to Ulta for a BM Tutorial/Makeover. (For the Record: She does NOT NEED MAKE-UP, this was solely for her and if SHE wanted to wear it on occasion.)
  

• Did a DT run at In-N-Out and got some fries!

• Went to Dinner with Dale & Shanell

Despite appearances, there was NO ALCOHOL involved in the making of this photo!

A Sad, Sad Story...Costco Edition

(Author's Note: Not TRULY sad)

So.

Over the weekend, Bill, Emmy & I go to Costco. We've got our TWO fully loaded carts of Heaven and we are headed to the checkout, we come to the books/movies/DVD's and I decide that I want a movie, so we park our carts by the booze so we only have to maneuver our bodies through the sea of people. (BTW, we decided to go to the brand new one that replaced the old one that all the old people and clueless people went to. We THOUGHT it would be better since they had relocated it. Nope. If your in my area and thinking of giving that location (Sossamon Rd.) a try, DON"T DO IT!!!!!) Anywhoo, where was I?

Ah yes, movie section.

Bill's lookin. Emmy's lookin. I'm lookin. And we don't really see anything except MAYBE the Will Ferrel movie where he is wearing the shorty shorts. But really, that could go either way. As in way funny or way STUPID. SO we give it the passover. I say maybe we could look for a TV series we haven't seen but have wanted to try. So we all go to lookin again.

On the floor underneath the tables I see a box with cute colored DVD cases. This looks like it could be promising. I crouch down, and peer in the box.

It's "Sex & The City" all the different seasons.

I get all excited, so I call Bill over.

Me: Bill, how about this? You know, it's not something we all can watch, but it might be good for at night instead of night 26,537 of Law & Order.

B: Hmmm...

Me: I heard it's really good. My little UK Friend loves it! Her husband surprised her and took her to go see the movie on opening day, she said it is SOOO good.

B: Your UK friend?

Me: Yeah, you know, the one who's moving to Australia.

B: The one from "Blog World"?

Me: smiling, nodding head. "Uh-huh." Yeah. her.

B: He just stands there shaking his head, thinking what a sad, sad, little wife he has.

At that moment, that country song starts playing in my head. If you don't know it, the lyrics are below.

I am suddenly the people I make fun of.

But I like it, SO THERE!

.....................................................................................
Artist: Paisley Brad
Song: Online
Album: 5th Gear

I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire under my yak
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Online
I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’ll see ya online

Happy Father's Day!

or in the case of this hastily made card by Emmy....

Happy "FARTER'S" Day!

Either way, it works!

In Case I Drop Dead

Okay, I figured this was a good reason to come out of hibernation.

Bill has taken the kids away for a few days so I could pack with them out of my hair.

Last night I was STARVING! So I went and got take-out from Some burrow's Mexican Food. I got Beef Enchilada's, chips & hot sauce (no salsa 'cause of the whole tomato "crisis") and guacamole. I came home and set it on the counter and went to turn the TV on. I got sidetracked and FORGOT TO EAT MY FOOD!

A couple hours pass, I do some packing, then go to bed.

I wake up this morning and go out to the kitchen, there on the counter is my food. "Oh yeah, I got enchilada's last night. No wonder I'm so hungry this morning, I didn't eat them."

I sat there for a few minutes contemplating weather they were safe to still eat or if they already gotten somanilla or e-coli or whatever it is food gets.

I ate it.

It was SO YUMMY!

I hope I don't die.

The Wonder Twins get in an "Accident"

So yesterday about 3:00, Emmy, Austin & I had just got to Target and we were just walking around killing time while the power was out at the house from the "storm." About 3 minutes after we got there my phone rings. It's LoveStud (Bill). He tells me he's been in an accident. He's fine but he can't get out of the truck. Jeff was driving and they were in his truck. We happen to be at the Target that was about 3 miles from where they were at, so we left and headed there.

The Details:
Jeff, Bill and Sean (one of their Superindendants) had been "shoe shopping" (they were all getting new work boots) and were on their way back to the office. Now 99.9% of the time Bill would be driving HIS truck, but yesterday he told Jeffrey to drive, They were in Jeff's truck (which is big, but not as big as Bill's) and a LITTLE car with a mom and 3 small kids turned left in front of them. When we got to the site it was AWFUL. Jeff's truck was TOTALLED and the other car was literally smashed in half. BUT, EVERYONE was RELATIVELY speaking, okay. The mom and all the kids were fine, Jeff & Sean were both fine, only Bill had any injuries, which is just his arm from the AirBag. And boy, will he be milking it. (Now that I know everyone is fine, I can say this)

So on to this morning:

I'm up and on the computer at 4:30, I hear Bill get up and a few minutes later he comes out to where I am. He says, "Oh, I want you to take a picture of my arm for your blog" (See, how now that it has to do with him, this little blog is suddenly not so silly? Attention Whore.)

So I take a photo.

(The picture doesn't do it justice, IT IS pretty bad. (Bill Told me to write that))

Me: Come sit by me so you can tell me what you want me to write in the post.

Bill: Write that Jeffrey tried to KILL me.


Drama Queen.

*** Bill REQUESTS that EVERYONE leave a comment. (He's an Only Child, he NEEDS lots of Attention, Can you tell?)

B & L: A Hairy Conversation

Boy today is the day of multiple posts.

Bill just got home and saw the new hair, this was our conversation.

B: Awww, your hair looks good!

Me: So you like?

B: Yeah, I DO.

Me: Would you say you LIKE it or LOVE it. Like on a scale of 1 to 5 stars, how many stars would I get?

B: Oh..I don't know...I'd say four. 4 Stars.

Me: 4, that's pretty good, but why not 5? What's missing?

B: Well, I'm just waiting to see what it looks like TOMORROW, when YOU do it. If it's all frizzy and a big puff ball, I may just have to take the 4 stars back. But if it looks the same, then I can bump it up to 5 stars.


So, there you go. I guess I WON'T be washing my hair from here on out in hopes it wil stay "as is"

Mother's Day

It's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep, so I thought I'd do the Mother's Day Post that I forgot to do yesterday.

While we were at dinner the night before, Holly & Emmy were at home making the most scrumptious treats for us. They made an Almond Joy cake, chocolate covered strawberries, Macadamia Nut & Almond Chocolate Cluster's, as well as some very cute cards. And then they package them like you would find in the finest little chocolate shops. Holly is a chocolatier. She comes up with the cutest ideas and the tastiest treats. The Holy Grail of it all was she had taken my Costco mango strips and hand dipped each one in dark chocolate. Oh. My. Gosh. The most AMAZING creation ever.

So while I was admiring all of the girls treats, Emmy went in and cooked me the BEST breakfast. Scrambled eggs with green chili's & cheese, and diced tomatoes on the side. So Yummy!

And since the day was not over yet, the spoilling continued with Austin cooking us dinner. He makes the best hamburgers, really he does, he is famous all over our neighborhood for them.

So thanks guys, for using your mad cooking skills to make my day! I LOVE YOU!


(This picture is old, but I like it alot. The older boys weren't here in person, just in spirit.)

And just to let you know that I don't have a TOTALLY perfect life, there was some "quiet time" spent in their rooms for a couple of them. But I won't mention any names.

And to all the mother's I know, I hope you had a wonderful day!

My sister, Denise, and I took our mom out to dinner for Mother's Day, we also let all the boys come along, (um, hello, who else was gonna pay if they didn't?) We went to a new place, EJ's, It was really good, we had a lot of fun.

It's so unfair, Denise NEVER takes a bad photo, and I never take a good one. Don't our parents look great?

Now with this photo, I just know your thinking "I thought Lana said she was REALLY short, She only looks a LITTLE bit short here" Well.....

that is because I have discovered what I call my Truck Stop Tramp shoes. I REALLY stepped out of my box when I bought these shoes.

I'm in bed posting this, and Bill thinks this blog is absolutely ridiculous. He said, "I don't want everyone to think I'm married to the Crazy little old lady Troll that lives under the bridge and blogs on her computer."

I think I'm offended.