It's the Arte y Pico award!
Ain't she purdy?

Now of course the beauty of the award is that we get to pass it around and make others feel special. So without further ado my 5 nominees are:

My good friend Drama. Because I love her and this award specifies design creativity and I just adore her retro ladies.
My good friend Star at Late to the Party. I hope this guilts... um encourages her to post more often because I love reading her blog.
My cyber stalkee, Jason of The Jason Show because he makes me laugh, a lot, out loud. But not so much this week. I am hoping this will make him smile today!
My newest fan, Lana at Where's My Laptop, who stole one of my post ideas and MADE MY WEEK ya'll!
And one of my newer additions to my reader, Aimeepalooza who is currently out stalking one of my favorite stars Drew Barrymore.

Here are the rules for those that were nominated:
Pick five (5) blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.
Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.
Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award (http://arteypico.blogspot.com/)
Now go forth and share the love!
So, apparantly a memo went out this morning that is was going to be "Let's Get on Lana's LAST FREAKIN' NERVE day!"

....and EVERYONE I came across complied with the memo.


How was your weekend?

Because mine was Fab-U-Lous!

Sit down, because your going to be JEALOUS!
  • We had a Tie-Dye-Palooza!

  • Went to Wal-Mart to get some movies & treats for Movie Night and overheard some pretty priceless WM employee conversations.

  • Watched Sydney White & The 7 Dorks. LOVED it!

  • We went to a Cheer meeting where we found out that Emmy made the "Blazzin' Hotties" squad! Yea, Em!
(FYI: Googling "Blazzin' Hotties" image for blog...NOT A GOOD IDEA! Hence the reason there is NO IMAGE here)

  • Took Holly to Ulta for a BM Tutorial/Makeover. (For the Record: She does NOT NEED MAKE-UP, this was solely for her and if SHE wanted to wear it on occasion.)

  • Did a DT run at In-N-Out and got some fries!

  • Went to Dinner with Dale & Shanell
Despite appearances, there was NO ALCOHOL involved in the making of this photo!


Public Service Announcement: #1


Not Funny.
Not Sad.

Just Informative.

Because that, Dear Reader, is just how much I care about you!

In the past 2 weeks I have discovered 3 new products, and after giving them a trial period, I feel I can now recommend.

1. OPI Nail Polish #s86 Bubble Bath

For YEARS I have searched for the perfect not clear/but sheer nail polish. They were either too white, too pink or to opaque. This week I found it. OPI's Bubble Bath is perfect if your looking for just a "finished" look to a natural nail.

2. BareMinerals Blemish Therapy

I LOVE BareMinerals make-up. Between it & my "niece" Julie's Face treatments, my life has been changed. Now they have this new product for blemish's, it works & I love it.

3. CFL's. (Compact Florescent Lights)

Up until recently, I've pretty much ignored the "hype" in regards to CFL's. I have been CONVERTED! And like any person who has had a conversion of some type, I feel the need to now convert everyone I know! I'll put it as simple as I know how: If you don't convert to CFL's then you are just being dumb. They save a TON of money on your electric bill, and they now come in EVERY size you would ever need. They last for 5 years. PLUS, if you check around you can find them for very cheap. Sam's Club carries multi-packs and Basha's & Food City are offering them at about $1. 30 a piece through a program subsidized by SRP. If not in my area, contact your energy provider and I'm sure they can direct you were to find them cheapest.

Bonus Product Recommendation:

If you are like me, and eat a whole watermelon per day covered in chili spices, and maybe need to switch off to something else for a bit, then head over to your nearest Food City or Mexican Mart and purchase Mango Con Chili.

That's right my friends, Chili covered Mango's! Once again, proof that "Dreams Really Do Come True."


In-N-Out Burger, for those not familiar with the name, is a popular fast food Hamburger establishment. Their menu is very simple & cheap. I think they started out on the West Coast many years ago. I first became familiar with the name back in high school, so its been over 25 years now. The "cool kids" would come back from Spring Break after going to Cali, and they would all stand around and snicker about the bumper stickers they got but so cleverly altered to say "In-N-Out urge" Other than that, I had never been to it myself.

Well, about 5 or 6 years ago, they started popping up here, everyone was SO excited. I could've cared less, it barely made a "blip" on my radar. When I shared this fact with Chelsea & Shanell, they were both SOOO upset. It was like I had just told them the Easter Bunny's not real. By the way, he's not. They insisted that I must go and try it.

A few weeks passed.

Then 2 weeks ago we needed nourishment, and there in front of us, it was. We decided that that would be the day to give it a try. We pull in the parking lot and precede to take our place in the drive-thru line. We were about Car #52. That is were I first became impressed. We got up to the talking box in about 3 minutes. I looked at the menu, it was very simple. We decide that we will all just get a single & fries.

So I say: We'd like 4 hamburgers, 4 fries & 4 waters (my kids don't drink pop, another story-another day)

Drive-Thru Girl says: Will you be eating that in the car?

Me: What did you just say?


Me: Um, yes. Why?

DTG: Because we will package it in an open tray for you so it's easier for you to eat.

ME: OMG! I'm in love with you!

DTG. Okay! Well, we'll see ya at the window!

They handed me the tray with golden deliciousness inside. The fries were perfectly lightly salted and pipping hot! (To be honest, I ate the hamburger, but for me it was just, meh. But I'm not a burger person. But the fries...TO DIE FOR!)

So, there you have it! I have been denying myself this experience for all these years.

So to make up for lost time, we have ate it just about everyday this summer. This is us yesterday. Just look how happy I am, I'm about to stuff a big, fat wad of fries in my mouth! YUM.

In-N-Out Burger

True Confession Thursday

I stole the TCT from Karen

If your smart, then you have picked up on the little nuances that I LOVE Angelina Jolie and add Brad Pitt on top of that and I'm obsessed. But here's the kicker and where the True Confession comes in to play.

Bill has NO IDEA.

Right now your thinking, Who cares? How can he not know? What's the big deal?

To you, I say...Do. The. Math.

If he knew I liked her, he would think I meant I "LIKED" her.

That means if we ran into Circle K real quick to get a drink or whatever, when we went to checkout, He'd be all like, "Ohhhh, Do you see who's on the cover of People?"

Makes Googly eyes. Raises eyebrows up and down.

Or if we're flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch.

"Hey, Mr. & Mrs. Smith is on, do you want to watch it. An-ge-li-naaaa's in it!"

Again, googly eyes. Raises eyebrows up & down.

So now we're at the point where I've got a REAL problem. She has a new movie coming out called, Wanted, it looks SO good, and it's getting great reviews. AND the movie poster is H.O.T.

I DESPERATELY want to see it. Will I tell him?



I will just do like I do with all the other movies, news items, stories, etc. that have to do with her.

I will put on an Award Winning Performance.

In a store browsing around a few months from now:

Bill: Hey Lana, have you heard anything about this movie?

Me: What's it called?

Bill: Wanted. It's got some guy I've never heard of and that girl with the brown hair & all the tattoo's.

Lana: Oh, the one that was in Transformer's?

Bill: Um, no I don't think so, I think it's the one that was in Mr & Mrs. Smith.

Lana: Oh. I haven't heard of it. Well, there's nothing else that looks good, so you might as well get it. Mission Accomplished!

Yeah, I bet he's doing a True Confession of his own.

Dear Blog,
I LOVE Angelina!
But Lana has no idea,
I pretend I don't know who she is......


My New Calling in Life: Dog Groomer

When the header photo above was taken, it was kind of spur of the moment. It was around Christmas/New Year's and the dogs hadn't been to the groomers, etc. But it didn't matter, because they are ALWAYS beautiful to me. (ahhhh...Crazy Dog Lady here)

Well, that photo is now a 2'x6' canvas on my wall, and I realized just how mangy they were, so I started cutting their hair at home.

Now the back story here is that I have been PERMANENTLY BANNED from any type of hair cutting device, or from cutting any living creature weather they are human or animal. Back in the day, we were way, way poor. SO in order to try and save money I would give the boys haircuts at home. I was so bad, that Austin's nickname became "Patches" because that is what his head was after a sit down with me. Finally Bill put his foot down and said no more. From then on we would "save up" for the $8.00 child's special at SuperCuts.

So fast forward to now, and I am back to giving haircuts. But here's the thing, each time I do it I get better and better. But I think Bill just associates it with the time period from before which was just awful. Well I told him yesterday, that I have found my new calling in life.

Dog Groomer.

Yep. I'm serious, I enjoy it SO much that I SERIOUSLY am thinking of maybe going to Dog Grooming Cosmetology School. You should have seen me doing Brutus/Ruffus. He just sat on my lap the whole time and when I did his little face, he just closed his eyes and was so patient. Now granted, I am only able to offer one type of cut, which Bill is calling the "Summer Special" (the equivalent of a boy's buzz-cut done on the back porch)

But hey, ya gotta start somewhere right?

Oh, and by the way, the other day I gave Austin a hair-cut too, and it looked EXACTLY like I had taken him to the usual barber they go to!

So Ha!

(Chelsea, if you are reading this then I know at this point you are probably REALLY nervous about your standing as my Hair Stylist. For now, you are safe and so is my hair. My confidence has not yet reached the levels where I feel I can do MY own hair-cuts. But beware, if I keep at this pace, it's only a matter of time.)


The makeover has taken place.

This is who I used for inspiration. Muffin, My Baby, The BEST most sweetest dog ever put on the earth.

BEFORE: Brutus/Ruffus (Really, the photo does not portray the extreme hideousnous. I wasn't able to "capture" the matts or all the dingle-berries!

AFTER: Again...NOT perfect, but at least he can see now!

But alas...there is only so much a pair of sciccors can do. The dog is STILL retarded. Tomorrow I shall check out my Lobotomy giving skills!


A Sad, Sad Story...Costco Edition

(Author's Note: Not TRULY sad)


Over the weekend, Bill, Emmy & I go to Costco. We've got our TWO fully loaded carts of Heaven and we are headed to the checkout, we come to the books/movies/DVD's and I decide that I want a movie, so we park our carts by the booze so we only have to maneuver our bodies through the sea of people. (BTW, we decided to go to the brand new one that replaced the old one that all the old people and clueless people went to. We THOUGHT it would be better since they had relocated it. Nope. If your in my area and thinking of giving that location (Sossamon Rd.) a try, DON"T DO IT!!!!!) Anywhoo, where was I?

Ah yes, movie section.

Bill's lookin. Emmy's lookin. I'm lookin. And we don't really see anything except MAYBE the Will Ferrel movie where he is wearing the shorty shorts. But really, that could go either way. As in way funny or way STUPID. SO we give it the passover. I say maybe we could look for a TV series we haven't seen but have wanted to try. So we all go to lookin again.

On the floor underneath the tables I see a box with cute colored DVD cases. This looks like it could be promising. I crouch down, and peer in the box.

It's "Sex & The City" all the different seasons.

I get all excited, so I call Bill over.

Me: Bill, how about this? You know, it's not something we all can watch, but it might be good for at night instead of night 26,537 of Law & Order.

B: Hmmm...

Me: I heard it's really good. My little UK Friend loves it! Her husband surprised her and took her to go see the movie on opening day, she said it is SOOO good.

B: Your UK friend?

Me: Yeah, you know, the one who's moving to Australia.

B: The one from "Blog World"?

Me: smiling, nodding head. "Uh-huh." Yeah. her.

B: He just stands there shaking his head, thinking what a sad, sad, little wife he has.

At that moment, that country song starts playing in my head. If you don't know it, the lyrics are below.

I am suddenly the people I make fun of.

But I like it, SO THERE!

Artist: Paisley Brad
Song: Online
Album: 5th Gear

I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire under my yak
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’ll see ya online



So Brutus/Ruffus is back for a 2 week-long stay.

He is hideous.

I really want to give him a hair-cut, but Bill says it is not socially acceptable to cut a dog's hair without the consent of the owner.

I say pshaw! (is that how you spell that?)

If you call someone at 10:30 pm the night before you leave for a 2 week-long vacay asking for dog-boarding services because YOU FORGOT YOU HAD A DOG and did not plan for his care in your absence, than that is the chance you take!

So.....I will patiently wait until Monday morning when Bill leaves for work, and then I shall whip out my mad grooming skills and the make-over will begin!!!!



Gardiner, New York

Dear "Gardiner, New York",


I've tried for months now not to obsess over you, but I am losing the battle. You are driving me crazy!

I see you on my meter, but according to it, you do not stay. Ever. You just pop up on the radar as Gardiner, New York. Length of stay...0 seconds. ZERO! If I'm not worthy of staying and checking out, then why do you continue to check in? What am I doing or not doing to keep your interest?


I can't handle this.

Should I be worried? 'Cause I gotta tell you, I kinda am.

Will you please say Hi.

Or at the very least, let me know when you'll be coming to kill me. I'm a little OCD and would like to have things done.

Thank You,

P.S. I'm all for stalking, cause trust me when I say, I do it too. But I'm just a girl who thinks wayyy too much and most of the people who come by, I know. The others are those that I have stalked and they found me! :) I would just love to know why you don't stay, let me know what I can do about that.

P.S.S. I just thought of something else, maybe Gardiner, NY is not a person, but location for RSS feed or Google Reader or something else. If ANYONE knows what this could be, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!!
Yes, It is ONLY June , and I am complaining about the heat. I know...I hate people like me too.

I have lived through 39 Arizona summers, I know the drill. But THIS summer is different.

In summers past, I know its 120 degrees OUTSIDE, but INSIDE of MY house it is always a cool 68 degrees. (at least as long as I've not been under somebody else's roof) Along with that coolness however, comes a $700 - $900 monthly electric bill. Which I have always GLADLY paid. It keeps me happy and my husband & children alive, 'cause when I get hot, I get cranky. REALLY cranky.


I lied

...But not on purpose.

If you stopped by while I had the post "A Small Crisis" up (it has since been taken off, obviously), then I apologize. You see, I had promised a story of Lynn & Ellen (my parents).

Unfortunately for you, I will not be able to fulfill my promise.

I have learned that writing about murder, gun-totting elderly people, gangs of clowns and neighborhoods going up in flames is proving to be more difficult then I intially thought. If I proceed with said post, I will surely end up in hell (if the ticket has not ALREADY been reserved for me.)

So, just take this warning from me: Tell your kids, your pets, the mexicans and anyone you know that doesn't keep their front yards properly maintained, to keep a safe distance & a watchful eye out, because there is an almost 76-year old hard of hearing, senile old man applying for a concealed weapon license, and he is just ITCHING to have the chance to use it!

You have been warned.

Ly.nn & Ell.en: The Murder-Part 1

Disclaimer: When I recount the following story, please note that I am NOT MAKING FUN or in ANYWAY dimishing the life that was lost. I am making fun of my parents reactions to said events. Got it? Good.

Okay...Here we go.

So, 3 Sunday's ago, I was sitting on the couch procrasting about getting ready for church. I was perusing the internets, like I like to do. I went to AZ.Cen.tral and and on the front page I see this headline:


Happy Father's Day!

or in the case of this hastily made card by Emmy....

Happy "FARTER'S" Day!

Either way, it works!

My Little Flyer!

Here is a little video of Miss Em, she is doing "Flight School" for Cheerleading. She is LOVING it, but it scares me EVERY TIME! This was the !st time she did anything, then my battery died!


Oh Noooo!!!!!

It looks like I've got an emergency to take care of!

This was the headline on People.com when i just checked in:

Kid Rock Hospitalized for Dehydration!

I'm off to "play" nurse. While I'm gone, I leave you this:

(There shall be NO negative comments regarding: my lack of judgement, my taste in music, my love of white trash men, or the stripper pole on the boat.)


In Case I Drop Dead

Okay, I figured this was a good reason to come out of hibernation.

Bill has taken the kids away for a few days so I could pack with them out of my hair.

Last night I was STARVING! So I went and got take-out from Some burrow's Mexican Food. I got Beef Enchilada's, chips & hot sauce (no salsa 'cause of the whole tomato "crisis") and guacamole. I came home and set it on the counter and went to turn the TV on. I got sidetracked and FORGOT TO EAT MY FOOD!

A couple hours pass, I do some packing, then go to bed.

I wake up this morning and go out to the kitchen, there on the counter is my food. "Oh yeah, I got enchilada's last night. No wonder I'm so hungry this morning, I didn't eat them."

I sat there for a few minutes contemplating weather they were safe to still eat or if they already gotten somanilla or e-coli or whatever it is food gets.

I ate it.

It was SO YUMMY!

I hope I don't die.