Love.

Swine. Flu.

If I hear these words one more time in the next 15 minutes, I WILL scream!!!!

I'm sure its serious, but OMG the media latches on to something and does not let go.

Dog & Beth

Yeah, we are on a first name basis around here.

Let me back up a bit-

A few weeks ago, we were out somewhere (can't remember where) and we came across a lady who looked IDENTICAL to Beth (she was even scarfing/slurping up NACHOS), she's Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife.

I made this observation out loud to the girls, who gave me a completely blank look.

"Who's Beth?" they asked.

So me OBVIOUSLY having dropped my mothering/mentoring somewhere along the way, took the opportunity to school them in all things Dog.

They were STILL not impressed or intrigued to find out more.

UNTIL....

a few days later, I was looking for something to watch on a late Saturday afternoon, and its like the TV Universe had heard my pleas for help.

There was a Dog the Bounty Hunter MARATHON!!!!!!!

Holy. Crappola.

I called to the girls to "come quick" so I could show them who I had been talking about.

They could not look away.

Bill was gone for the weekend, so we all parked ourselves on the couch and watched the whole thing.

Hours and hours of Dog and his clan.

Awesomeness.

So when I hopped on over to AZCentral this morning, and saw this, I had to stop and have a moment of silence for him.

Please Dog...be safe.

Sunday Stealing: The 40 meme

1. My uncle once: Turned his head to the side to talk to someone across the room, I was sitting next to him and his ears had SO MUCH oozing wax in them I was completely grossed/freaked out! Then every year when I would see them, that was the first thing I would check, ALWAYS the same. GROSS. So now, as keeper of my own ears, I am OBSESSED with Q-tips. They are your friend....use them!

2. Never in my life: have I met a cockroach worth not killing!

3. When I was seventeen: DO NOT EVEN WANT TO GO THERE!!!!!

4. High School was : the absolute worst. Hated it.

5. I will never forget : my mom lying in the back yard sunbathing and catching the garbage men peeking over the fence at her. HILLARIOUS!

6. I once met : you have to leave the house to meet people....

7. There’s this girl I know who :

8. Once, at a bar : Not a drinker.

9. By noon, I’m usually : ready for another Monster!

10. Last night : I watched the Amazing Race. I know this is not PC, but I am SERIOUSLY sick of/annoyed with the deaf guy and his momma. Last night was complete BS with the whole shoving incident and him trying to make it all Keisha & Jen's fault.

11. If only I had : more patience.

12. Next time I go to church : I REALLY hope we get there early enough to not have to sit in the back. We've been getting there 20-30 min early and STILL end up back there and I can't hear a thing. Yes, I am one of those crotchety old ladies that give dirty looks to the kids that run around playing when they should be sitting.

13. Susan Boyle : When I saw that clip my first thought was...Susan Boyle??? That's the name of that girl I worked with at Eegee's that my boyfriend at the time, Merrit, was COMPLETELY infatuated with, but always denied it. Drove me insane! She also drove the car that I had dreamed of my entire life. A white rag top convertible VW.

14. What worries me most : don't EVEN get me started.....

15. When I turn my head left, I see : can't turn my head, the whole cervical spinal fusion thing...

16. When I turn my head right, I see : see #15.

17. You know I’m lying when : listen, I have the memory of a lemon, it does me NO GOOD to try and lie. it's the truth or nothin'...

18. What I miss most about the eighties : there is not a thing I miss about the 80's.

19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be : Juliet

20. By this time next year :

21. A better name for me would be :

22. I have a hard time understanding : why math is required in school. And since it is, why can't it come with personal tutors so I can stop looking like a complete idiot when my kids ask for help.

23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll : SCREAM!!!! I've thought about it a few times, but with my ADD there is NO WAY I could sit in that chair listening longer than 15 minutes. No. Way.

24. You know I like you if : I talk to you

25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be : depends on what the award is for.

26. When I compare 80’s rock to 90’s rock : love them both

27. Take my advice, never : buy a car new, over rated.

28. My ideal breakfast is : 2 Monster's and 1/2 an "Everything" bagel

29. A song I love, but do not own is : oh this is a good ?. Heard a song yesterday on the way home from Vegas and thought "i need to download that when we get home, but.....forgot what it was. See #17

30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest : don't come in the summer. You will die.

31. My favorite Beatle is : John Lennon. I was 11, I can remember going to Wool Co. with my family, and I was up in the front of the store near the comic books and magazines and all the magazines had John on the cover. He had just been shot. It completely fascinated me. That same year in school we had to write a research report on someone famous and i chose him. LOVE him. Yoko...not so much.

32. Why won’t people : lighten up?

33. If you spend the night at my house : I will make you Hoot Nanny pancakes. For sleepovers that is what I do.

34. I’d stop my wedding for : calling my parents to let them know I was just minutes away from driving to Vegas, so if they wanted to be there, they should probably get on it.

35. The world could do without : stupid people

36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than : Speak in front of a crowded room.

37. My favorite blonde is : Emmy

38: Paper clips are more useful than : string

39. If I do anything well, it’s : over think.

40. And by the way : I can't believe I've done another one of these things!

Holy Smokes!

Who knew Hannah Montana could make me bawl like a little baby?

Is this a little...

Shocking?

Disturbing?

Pathetic?

Probably a combo of all of thee above.

But first I should probably back up to Friday, because that is when this whole cry-fest of a weekend started.

I hung out with Dominic, who is less than 2 months away from moving over 1,600 miles away. That was the first major crack in my already fragile emotional armour.

THEN, when I walked in the door from being with him, I was greeted with a BEAUTIFUL, SPARKLING, CLEAN house. When I had left it earlier it was nice & clean but when I came home it was IMMACULATE. You see, I have been blessed with a daughter who thrives on cleaning.

She had done the whole. entire. house.

I know...impressive.

BUT - I soon found out it came with strings attached.

She wanted to have friends over. I just wasn't in the mood.

I know, I know...MEAN MOM!!!!

She was crushed, then she was mad. I felt bad, but not bad enough to change my mind.

The rest of the day was meh.

Finally I had had enough of that day.

I was cranky and annoyed so I headed up to my room.

There was NOTHING on.

I came across Friday Night Lights it was about mid-way through the episode. I had never seen it before. It was good. VERY GOOD. SO good that Saturday I had it on my to-do list to go out and get. Which I did. Bill and I spent Saturday afternoon watching a few episodes while the kids were all out. I kept finding myself wiping puddles of tears from my face.

I AM NOT AN EMOTIONAL PERSON!!!!!

What in the H is going on with me???

pregnant?

menopause?

NEITHER are a GOOD diagnosis.

It must be the toll of the last several months and worrying about what our future holds. All I know is at some point during this weekend, I found myself sitting in a movie theater, with both my daughters and my husband, watching a girl I was SURE we'd be over by now, and I was BAWLING!!!!!

LOVE this song. LOVE the message.


For the record: I LIKE this girl, I like her music. I even listen to it if there are no kids around. I think she is VERY talented. And I CERTAINLY wouldn't want to be 16 years old with the eyes of the world watching my every move WAITING for me to make a wrong one. In my house, we make sure our kids know that the things and people to be admired are ones that work hard, learn from their mistakes and treat people well. Money, fame, glitz & glamour are fleating.

Also: I was distracted by her teeth through most of the movie, am I being shallow and nit-picky?

And: Billy Ray's chest is getting "old-man" looking.

Just sayin'....


*****


Sunday night was spent consolling Emmy about Easter.

It was SO sad.

This year we did NOTHING for Easter.

No Easter pageant.

No egg hunt.

No family get together.

She was really upset about it.

Next year I will have to remember that age is just a number and family traditions should stay intact. Sometimes I think that the kids are/should be past something and CLEARLY they are not.

Hope everyone had a Hoppy Easter. (ha ha haaa... )

Hey Ya'll!

Slowly coming out of hibernation.

Its been a LONG, DARK winter.

***

So...how's everyone doing?

hanging' in there?

***

Just a little nugget from Tuesday night that made me oh so happy.

Yes, that's right -
There is a BRAND SPANKIN' NEW batch of Real Housewives and these ones are from NEW JERSEY!!!!

I'm Super. Excited.


NOTE: UGGG!!! Just tried to add a YouTube clip for you, but there is NONE.

How can this be?

Long time coming.

okay.

I'm ready...here we go.

Yes, I kept it.

We've now moved on to turtles.

This still sucks.

Big.

Time.

Too Cool!

I signed up to receive a free 'Obama' pin to add to my pin collection. as a result, I've received A LOT of propaganda. This particular thing I found to be hillarious. I've watched it about 30 times.

The Trunk

How do you know when it's okay to let go of something?

If someone takes the time or makes an effort to give me something, I will find some way to use it, and will probably never get rid of it. I also have this same problem in regards to things that remind me of certain situations, time periods or my children.

If they draw me a picture or write me a note, you KNOW I will be keeping it.

The trouble comes in trying to find space to KEEP all this stuff. I mean, its not to the point yet where I have stacks of stuff lining the hallways and emergency personnel will have a difficult time getting the gurney in should I need help. But I feel its getting close.

I have been trying to clean things out and widdle down to things I ABSOLUTELY love. I'm tired of "stuff" I just want nice, clean, spaces.

But we've come across a....I don't know what word I'm looking for here. But I have a trunk, I want to keep it, Bill wants Goodwill to get it.

So for now it sits in a trailor awaiting its fate.

He sees HIDEOUS.

I see:

A new beginning.

• We were just coming out of a VERY ROUGH few years. We had both gotten to the point where we were done with living the way things were, and if we were going to make our marriage and our family work, LOTS of things had to change.
  And they did.

• I had just lost custody of my oldest son, and it nearly sent me to the brink of despair. But had to then come to the realization that I had to snap out of it for all involved, my self pity wasn't going to do him or me or anyone any good. It was what it was and I had to make the best of it.

• I was pregnant with Awesome Austin.
  

I saw the trunk at a yard sale down the street from the apartment in Little Mexico. They were asking $20.00 for it. I wanted it DESPERATELY. It was a Friday morning. I did not have .20 cents let alone $20.00. It stayed there.

The next day, when we went out for our walk again, I noticed it was still there. I stopped to look at it again, and the person having the yard sale said, "you can have it for $5.00." I said I'd have to come back, as I didn't have money with me (or at home or anywhere else for that matter). I spent the next few hours so nervous someone would come along and buy it. Bill FINALLY got home from work and I told him about it and how much it was, he told me I should go buy it, and gave me 5 bucks from the paycheck he had just cashed.

Bill stayed with the kids while I FLEW down to that house. It was still there. I gave her the money and dragged the trunk home. I set it up as an end table by the couch. I placed some magazines on it that my mother had given me, and put a little plant on it. I felt like I had just made the literal transformation to
Suzy Homemaker.

Every time we have moved, it has made the move with us, and most of the time it has been spent being a coffee table.

1995: The Apartment

2001 Halloween: The Rental House


2007 Dominic: SE Valley House
(lower RH corner you can see the edge)



You know what?

IT'S STAYING!!!!

Who knew doing this post was going to be such an emotional rollercoaster for me?
..

Once again, I win!
(not that I'm keeping score or anything.)


Off Topic: Last night I made this Peanut Butter Pie. OMG!!! SOOOO good! I added shaved chocolate on top...to die for. You people need to stop already with the good recipes-this "Troll-Body" can't afford to gain anymore weight!

Shrimp

So, about six months ago, the girls start begging for a new pet.  I tell them "NO.  I think 93 dogs is enough."

They keep pleading and bugging over the next few weeks.  I finally give in and say they can get another fish.   So one day, I dropped them off at PetSmart while I went to Wal-Mart so they could pick out their new fish.  When I pick them up, they come out and they are both just GRINNING from ear to ear, "We got Shrimp!"  Now if you knew my daughter Holly, at this point you would think,  Shrimp, of course, it makes PERFECT sense.

There was four shrimp, and they set up their home on the bathroom counter, as the bathroom is common domain.

Well, I thought they'd live a couple of weeks, and then we'd be done.

OH NO.  Those suckers live forever.

Or so I thought.

I had held off on relocating them, hoping they would die, so I could just wash out the tank and be done with it.  (again, another nomination for Mother of the Year!)

So Emmy is with me last week, I was downstairs and she was upstairs. 

I finished what I had been doing, and went up to help her.  I see her in the bathroom leaning over the tank with the Shrimp food shaker.

I yell, "WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Emmy:  "I'm feeding the shrimp.  Oh mom, you should have seen them, I got here in JUST the nick of time.  They were almost dead."

I was THIS close to being free of having that tank on the counter.  ARGGHH!

So I breathe a heavy sigh and come to the realization that the shrimp and their habitat will be relocating as well.  So yesterday I put them in the car and when I got here I brought them in and put them on my bathroom counter for the time being.

This morning I was giving Muffin a haircut and Emmy came in and saw the tank.

E:  OHHH...Yay.  I didn't know they were here.

Me:  Yeah, I brought them yesterday.  See, I'm a nice mom after all.

Emmy peers into the tank, then she lets out a shreek-

THEY'RE ALL CUT IN HALF!!!!  

WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOO?  

YOUR A SHRIMP KILLERRRRR!!!!!!!

and she runs to her room, furious with me.

Add Murderous Shrimp Killer to my LONG list of names.

FOR THE RECORD:  I guess the rocks on the bottom of their tank, shifted back and forth in the car and they must have got caught up in them.  I did not cut them in half.

Amy

As I've stated on this blog about oh, I don't know, maybe a thousand times (sorry) I am a HUGE music fan, I LOVE it. And a favorite at my house is one Amy Winehouse. In fact, if you were to go on a Road Trip with me and my fam, there would be 3 things you could be guaranteed of: Amy, Garth and Kid Rock. oh...AND lots of Bathroom Breaks. Anywhoo, where was I.....

Ah yes, Amy, or as a site I go to, calls her, The Crackie of Camden. Anyways, EVERY TIME i see a picture of her or a headline with her name, I'm sure that its going to say she's dead. It's such a shame she can't get a hold of her life, she is SO talented. I love her!


Yes, this was kind of a random post, but hey, I'm busy. Cut me some slack okay.

Pink Lemonade Pie

Due to popular demand (ummm...okay, maybe just U.K.) I am posting this recipe that I originally got from Shanell. I LOVE it! It's SUPER EASY and CHEAP to make. (I think I spend about $4.00 and it makes 2 pies) But try and have more self-control than I have. I have been eating this all summer long!

Ingredients:
1/2 gallon vanilla ice cream
Cool Whip (regular size)
Pink Lemonade Frozen concentrate
2 Graham Cracker Pie crust (or you can just use 1 of the "+2 Servings" size Crust, and make it extra full, I think that's what Shanell does)



1. Let ingredients thaw to room temperature.
2. Mix together.

3. pour 1/2 into each pre-made Graham cracker crust
4. put in freezer till frozen
5. eat & enjoy!

Tip: You can use ANY FLAVOR of frozen concentrate. I just really like the Pink Lemonade. But I bet it would be great with Limeade (Key Lime Pie-esque) or you could try orange juice, or cranberry juice, or whatever your fancy is!

Scout Camp

While we were gone to Seattle, Austin was off to Scout Camp.

Backstory: Austin is not a fan of leaving the house. EVER. We've had to bribe him to go to Disneyland, the movies, treats, EVERYTHING. If he was told he just won a million dollars but had to go out to pick it up, he'd pass on it. He's also not a complainer, if I tell him he must do something, he just does it.

So anyways, I had to have him stay with my mother-in-law a couple days before hand, and she dropped him off to camp for us.

Well, they were to come home yesterday, and all morning I was so nervous that he would never speak to me again for making him go. The last long campout he went on he walked through the front door saying "Mom, Can I PLEASE quit Scouts?" I told him as soon as he got his Eagle, he would no longer have to go if that is what he wished.

So yesterday about 2-ish my phone rings, its Austin.

"Mom, I missed you so much, we're back, can you come pick me up?"

When we got there he was SO happy to see us. But the best thing?

He got 7....SEVEN...Merit Badges!

And, I think he even had a good time.

Cross-Off

At dinner Thursday night, we had a Cross-Eyed Contest.

You know, 'cause were sophisticated like that.

Contestant #1

Contestant #2

Contestant #3


Ummm...okay, I know that Contestant #3 looks a little....how do I say this?

"Special"?

He's not.

He's just new at these "contests".

Wait. No he's not.

He was the creator of them.

I have no explanation.

Mama Mia!

Question.

1.  Who in the heck did the casting for this movie?  They need to be fired.

2.  Was there no one in Hollywood available that could sing?  If they would have told me, I could have gave them my ward list and they would have done a better job.

3.  If  Sophie (the daughter) is 20 and her mom got pregnant with her in late teens-21'ish, than WHY was the mother who played her at least 60?  As well as EVERY other lead in the movie? (not that there is anything thing wrong with 60 year olds, but they're supposed to be 40!!!!!)

I HATED it!  I was so disappointed.  With the amount of money spent on making it, why was it SO crappy?  I did kind of like Sophie, but that's it!

I'm so annoyed right now, can you tell?

If you saw the movie, tell me your thoughts.

Holly walked through the front door yelling "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

I went to see what on earth was wrong with her.

She stood there holding this:

What in Holy Hell were they thinking?

I'm SO glad I'm Married!

Because I could not handle dating or dodging phone calls like this.


http://view.break.com/527579 - Watch more free videos

How was your weekend?

Because mine was Fab-U-Lous!

Sit down, because your going to be JEALOUS!

• We had a Tie-Dye-Palooza!

• Went to Wal-Mart to get some movies & treats for Movie Night and overheard some pretty priceless WM employee conversations.

• Watched Sydney White & The 7 Dorks. LOVED it!

• We went to a Cheer meeting where we found out that Emmy made the "Blazzin' Hotties" squad! Yea, Em!
  

(FYI: Googling "Blazzin' Hotties" image for blog...NOT A GOOD IDEA! Hence the reason there is NO IMAGE here)

• Took Holly to Ulta for a BM Tutorial/Makeover. (For the Record: She does NOT NEED MAKE-UP, this was solely for her and if SHE wanted to wear it on occasion.)
  

• Did a DT run at In-N-Out and got some fries!

• Went to Dinner with Dale & Shanell

Despite appearances, there was NO ALCOHOL involved in the making of this photo!

In-N-Out Burger, for those not familiar with the name, is a popular fast food Hamburger establishment. Their menu is very simple & cheap. I think they started out on the West Coast many years ago. I first became familiar with the name back in high school, so its been over 25 years now. The "cool kids" would come back from Spring Break after going to Cali, and they would all stand around and snicker about the bumper stickers they got but so cleverly altered to say "In-N-Out urge" Other than that, I had never been to it myself.

Well, about 5 or 6 years ago, they started popping up here, everyone was SO excited. I could've cared less, it barely made a "blip" on my radar. When I shared this fact with Chelsea & Shanell, they were both SOOO upset. It was like I had just told them the Easter Bunny's not real. By the way, he's not. They insisted that I must go and try it.

A few weeks passed.

Then 2 weeks ago we needed nourishment, and there in front of us, it was. We decided that that would be the day to give it a try. We pull in the parking lot and precede to take our place in the drive-thru line. We were about Car #52. That is were I first became impressed. We got up to the talking box in about 3 minutes. I looked at the menu, it was very simple. We decide that we will all just get a single & fries.

So I say: We'd like 4 hamburgers, 4 fries & 4 waters (my kids don't drink pop, another story-another day)

Drive-Thru Girl says: Will you be eating that in the car?

Me: What did you just say?

DTG: WILL. YOU. BE. EATING. THIS. IN. THE. CAR?

Me: Um, yes. Why?

DTG: Because we will package it in an open tray for you so it's easier for you to eat.

ME: OMG! I'm in love with you!

DTG. Okay! Well, we'll see ya at the window!

They handed me the tray with golden deliciousness inside. The fries were perfectly lightly salted and pipping hot! (To be honest, I ate the hamburger, but for me it was just, meh. But I'm not a burger person. But the fries...TO DIE FOR!)

So, there you have it! I have been denying myself this experience for all these years.

So to make up for lost time, we have ate it just about everyday this summer. This is us yesterday. Just look how happy I am, I'm about to stuff a big, fat wad of fries in my mouth! YUM.


In-N-Out Burger

A Sad, Sad Story...Costco Edition

(Author's Note: Not TRULY sad)

So.

Over the weekend, Bill, Emmy & I go to Costco. We've got our TWO fully loaded carts of Heaven and we are headed to the checkout, we come to the books/movies/DVD's and I decide that I want a movie, so we park our carts by the booze so we only have to maneuver our bodies through the sea of people. (BTW, we decided to go to the brand new one that replaced the old one that all the old people and clueless people went to. We THOUGHT it would be better since they had relocated it. Nope. If your in my area and thinking of giving that location (Sossamon Rd.) a try, DON"T DO IT!!!!!) Anywhoo, where was I?

Ah yes, movie section.

Bill's lookin. Emmy's lookin. I'm lookin. And we don't really see anything except MAYBE the Will Ferrel movie where he is wearing the shorty shorts. But really, that could go either way. As in way funny or way STUPID. SO we give it the passover. I say maybe we could look for a TV series we haven't seen but have wanted to try. So we all go to lookin again.

On the floor underneath the tables I see a box with cute colored DVD cases. This looks like it could be promising. I crouch down, and peer in the box.

It's "Sex & The City" all the different seasons.

I get all excited, so I call Bill over.

Me: Bill, how about this? You know, it's not something we all can watch, but it might be good for at night instead of night 26,537 of Law & Order.

B: Hmmm...

Me: I heard it's really good. My little UK Friend loves it! Her husband surprised her and took her to go see the movie on opening day, she said it is SOOO good.

B: Your UK friend?

Me: Yeah, you know, the one who's moving to Australia.

B: The one from "Blog World"?

Me: smiling, nodding head. "Uh-huh." Yeah. her.

B: He just stands there shaking his head, thinking what a sad, sad, little wife he has.

At that moment, that country song starts playing in my head. If you don't know it, the lyrics are below.

I am suddenly the people I make fun of.

But I like it, SO THERE!

.....................................................................................
Artist: Paisley Brad
Song: Online
Album: 5th Gear

I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire under my yak
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Online
I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’ll see ya online