Too Cool!

I signed up to receive a free 'Obama' pin to add to my pin collection. as a result, I've received A LOT of propaganda. This particular thing I found to be hillarious. I've watched it about 30 times.


The Trunk

How do you know when it's okay to let go of something?

If someone takes the time or makes an effort to give me something, I will find some way to use it, and will probably never get rid of it. I also have this same problem in regards to things that remind me of certain situations, time periods or my children.

If they draw me a picture or write me a note, you KNOW I will be keeping it.

The trouble comes in trying to find space to KEEP all this stuff. I mean, its not to the point yet where I have stacks of stuff lining the hallways and emergency personnel will have a difficult time getting the gurney in should I need help. But I feel its getting close.

I have been trying to clean things out and widdle down to things I ABSOLUTELY love. I'm tired of "stuff" I just want nice, clean, spaces.

But we've come across a....I don't know what word I'm looking for here. But I have a trunk, I want to keep it, Bill wants Goodwill to get it.

So for now it sits in a trailor awaiting its fate.

He sees HIDEOUS.

I see:

A new beginning.

  • We were just coming out of a VERY ROUGH few years. We had both gotten to the point where we were done with living the way things were, and if we were going to make our marriage and our family work, LOTS of things had to change.
    And they did.
  • I had just lost custody of my oldest son, and it nearly sent me to the brink of despair. But had to then come to the realization that I had to snap out of it for all involved, my self pity wasn't going to do him or me or anyone any good. It was what it was and I had to make the best of it.
  • I was pregnant with Awesome Austin.

I saw the trunk at a yard sale down the street from the apartment in Little Mexico. They were asking $20.00 for it. I wanted it DESPERATELY. It was a Friday morning. I did not have .20 cents let alone $20.00. It stayed there.

The next day, when we went out for our walk again, I noticed it was still there. I stopped to look at it again, and the person having the yard sale said, "you can have it for $5.00." I said I'd have to come back, as I didn't have money with me (or at home or anywhere else for that matter). I spent the next few hours so nervous someone would come along and buy it. Bill FINALLY got home from work and I told him about it and how much it was, he told me I should go buy it, and gave me 5 bucks from the paycheck he had just cashed.

Bill stayed with the kids while I FLEW down to that house. It was still there. I gave her the money and dragged the trunk home. I set it up as an end table by the couch. I placed some magazines on it that my mother had given me, and put a little plant on it. I felt like I had just made the literal transformation to
Suzy Homemaker.

Every time we have moved, it has made the move with us, and most of the time it has been spent being a coffee table.

1995: The Apartment

2001 Halloween: The Rental House

2007 Dominic: SE Valley House
(lower RH corner you can see the edge)

You know what?


Who knew doing this post was going to be such an emotional rollercoaster for me?

Once again, I win!
(not that I'm keeping score or anything.)

Off Topic: Last night I made this Peanut Butter Pie. OMG!!! SOOOO good! I added shaved chocolate on top...to die for. You people need to stop already with the good recipes-this "Troll-Body" can't afford to gain anymore weight!



So, about six months ago, the girls start begging for a new pet.  I tell them "NO.  I think 93 dogs is enough."

They keep pleading and bugging over the next few weeks.  I finally give in and say they can get another fish.   So one day, I dropped them off at PetSmart while I went to Wal-Mart so they could pick out their new fish.  When I pick them up, they come out and they are both just GRINNING from ear to ear, "We got Shrimp!"  Now if you knew my daughter Holly, at this point you would think,  Shrimp, of course, it makes PERFECT sense.

There was four shrimp, and they set up their home on the bathroom counter, as the bathroom is common domain.

Well, I thought they'd live a couple of weeks, and then we'd be done.

OH NO.  Those suckers live forever.

Or so I thought.

I had held off on relocating them, hoping they would die, so I could just wash out the tank and be done with it.  (again, another nomination for Mother of the Year!)

So Emmy is with me last week, I was downstairs and she was upstairs. 

I finished what I had been doing, and went up to help her.  I see her in the bathroom leaning over the tank with the Shrimp food shaker.


Emmy:  "I'm feeding the shrimp.  Oh mom, you should have seen them, I got here in JUST the nick of time.  They were almost dead."

I was THIS close to being free of having that tank on the counter.  ARGGHH!

So I breathe a heavy sigh and come to the realization that the shrimp and their habitat will be relocating as well.  So yesterday I put them in the car and when I got here I brought them in and put them on my bathroom counter for the time being.

This morning I was giving Muffin a haircut and Emmy came in and saw the tank.

E:  OHHH...Yay.  I didn't know they were here.

Me:  Yeah, I brought them yesterday.  See, I'm a nice mom after all.

Emmy peers into the tank, then she lets out a shreek-




and she runs to her room, furious with me.

Add Murderous Shrimp Killer to my LONG list of names.

FOR THE RECORD:  I guess the rocks on the bottom of their tank, shifted back and forth in the car and they must have got caught up in them.  I did not cut them in half.


The Olympics

So, Emmy has had to follow the Olympics, specifically Wrestling, for school. So we DVR, than watch when we can. Cause really, who has an extra 17 hours a day to watch them?

I'm REALLY embarrassed to say this, but I am TOTALLY confused.

I thought they were for amateur athletes.

I'm not trying to be sarcastic here, but really, isn't that what they used to be?

I really enjoy watching them, but then when I read the news or listen to recaps on the radio, I get lost.

Like this morning when I ran Em to school.

On the radio they were talking about them, "Michael Phelps...gazillion gold medals...girls gymnastics...blahhh...Venus & Serena Williams....



TOTALLY confused.

Aren't Venus & Serena tennis Pros?

I'm not into sports too much, but I read enough to know their names.

Why are they in the Olympics?

And how does Michael Phelps earn 5 million dollars last year and is still considered an amateur?

I'm going to go "Bone Up" on my Olympic knowledge, because this is really bugging me not knowing the criteria.

Um.....apparently I'm NOT soooooo busy.


Holy Schneitters!!!!

Who knew this was such a SENSITIVE subject.

This was the first response I found when I googled: 

Question:  "Are the Olympics for Amateurs or Professionals"

Answer:  The Olympics hasn't been about Amateurs since 1988. Look it up, moron.


they're for both amateurs and professionals and I'm a moron.

Case closed.


As I've stated on this blog about oh, I don't know, maybe a thousand times (sorry) I am a HUGE music fan, I LOVE it. And a favorite at my house is one Amy Winehouse. In fact, if you were to go on a Road Trip with me and my fam, there would be 3 things you could be guaranteed of: Amy, Garth and Kid Rock. oh...AND lots of Bathroom Breaks. Anywhoo, where was I.....

Ah yes, Amy, or as a site I go to, calls her, The Crackie of Camden. Anyways, EVERY TIME i see a picture of her or a headline with her name, I'm sure that its going to say she's dead. It's such a shame she can't get a hold of her life, she is SO talented. I love her!

Yes, this was kind of a random post, but hey, I'm busy. Cut me some slack okay.



It's Sunday Morning, I've been up for a couple of hours now, and everyone else is still asleep. Not sure why, but I just got to reflecting about things, and my thoughts turned to Mandy, our little yorkie we lost about this same time last summer. And since this is the closest thing I've ever had to a journal I wanted to write about it here. For those of you that know the story or are heartless non-animal lovers here is your exit opportunity.

My birthday is July 6th. Every year our vacation usually falls around this time. Last summer was a little "vacation crazy", we had sent Dominic, one of our older boys, to Europe for a month, Holly had girls camp, and Bill had wanted to do a cruise. Since we had already been to the Carribbean a few times, and a European cruise in the summer did not interest me at all with all the tourist and the heat, so, we decided, we would go on an Alaskan Cruise. Everyone was excited but me & Dominic, who decided he did not want to go, and would just stay here and recoperate from his trip. Now, I AM NOT an outdoors-y kind of girl. I mean, I always end up having a good time, because that's how I choose to be, but nature is not my first choice. So to kind of balance things, Bill took me to NYC for a few days. We had a girl from our church come stay with the kids, and her family lives just down the road from us. She's stayed with them several times when we've gone away, the kids LOVE her and so everyone was SUPER excited. As usual, we told them they could e-mail us as much as they wanted but to limit cell calls to an emergency only basis. (to be honest, the first "I miss youuuuu call is kind of sweet, but every hour gets a lee-tle bit old. I know, I'm mean & heartless)

So, Bill & I are in NYC having a GREAT time. We get the nightly e-mails from the kids, and all is well. Until Sunday. We were going to see Mama Mia for the 2:00 matinee, so that morning we got up and decided we would go do some shopping for the kids beforehand. We went and got the girls some things from American Girl Place, then went to Nintendo World for Aus and was just having a really nice time. We stopped back by the hotel to drop off our bags before the performance and as soon as we open the door to the room we see the red light flashing on the phone. Bill goes to check it and I pick up my phone to see if there are any missed calls. There was 20. (We had BOTH forgot our phones in the room.) I look at Bills, and he also has 17 missed calls.

My heart was racing and I was in complete panic mode.

We called home, and Emmy answered the phone and the first words she said was "Mandy's dead"

She cried, I cried, we couldn't be there to comfort them, it was very hard. She handed the phone over to the babysitter's mom who had come to the house. The mom proceeded to tell me what happened.

On Saturday night one of the kids decided to take a bath, when they were done they forgot to drain it. On Sunday morning every one was up and getting ready for church, Emmy went to take a shower and when she opened the door, she saw Mandy, dead and floating in the water. Mandy was Emmy's dog.

It was one of the saddest experiences of my life thus far.

NOTE: Since this IS my blog, I can't leave on such a serious note. I try to find humor in any & all situations that happen in my life. That is THE ONLY way I can cope. In this situation the humor came from an unlikely source, my great-niece Savannah (Shanell's daughter) On that Sunday, since we were not able to come home, the "greatest sister EVER" came and got my kids and took them to her house for Sunday dinner and to get their minds off of things. While they were there, they kind of had a "tribute party" in rememberance of Mandy. They wrote notes and drew pictures, I tried to find Savannah's picture, but it is packed up so I'll just have to describe.

8.5x11 piece of white cardstock.
Black marker to draw shape of bathtub.
Brown marker to draw dog in bathtub.
RED marker to draw "splotches" around dog.
Caption coming from dog that says "HELP ME!"

She was 5, and it came from her heart and it was the sweetest thing.


Pink Lemonade Pie

Due to popular demand (ummm...okay, maybe just U.K.) I am posting this recipe that I originally got from Shanell. I LOVE it! It's SUPER EASY and CHEAP to make. (I think I spend about $4.00 and it makes 2 pies) But try and have more self-control than I have. I have been eating this all summer long!

1/2 gallon vanilla ice cream
Cool Whip (regular size)
Pink Lemonade Frozen concentrate
2 Graham Cracker Pie crust (or you can just use 1 of the "+2 Servings" size Crust, and make it extra full, I think that's what Shanell does)

1. Let ingredients thaw to room temperature.
2. Mix together.

3. pour 1/2 into each pre-made Graham cracker crust
4. put in freezer till frozen
5. eat & enjoy!

Tip: You can use ANY FLAVOR of frozen concentrate. I just really like the Pink Lemonade. But I bet it would be great with Limeade (Key Lime Pie-esque) or you could try orange juice, or cranberry juice, or whatever your fancy is!


Thanks Megan for tagging me!

Here it goes:

i am: totally happy with my lot in life!

i want: other people/kids to treat my children nicely.

i have: a tiny mole/skin tag whatever the heck you want to call
it, on the underside of my chin. It keeps growing. About a week ago I thought maybe I would see about getting it taken care of, but then a few mornings ago when I woke up, suddenly it was gone! Well most of it. Now I worry what's going to happen to me.

i wish: I could help everyone, but I know that is not the answer to life's problems.

i hate: that almost EVERY SUNDAY night there is no Law & Order on so I usually end up having to watch some "boy movie" and it never fails that it usually is ones with either Steven Segal or Jean Claude Van Dam. Every. Single. Week. (Oh, and don't say something "profound" like, Why don't you guys just put in a movie? or Why don't you just watch one of the GaZillion episodes of L&O that you have saved on your DVR? Because that would make sense and sometimes you just go with the things the Universe throws out there and Sunday Night Bad TV is one of them)

i miss: the body I had at 20, but didn't realize that I had it.

i fear: furry rodents.

i feel: like I hit the "LIFE" jackpot!

i smell: me. And let me tell you, its not too pretty.

i crave: The Pink Lemonade Pie I made last night! It's been about a week since I've had any!

i wonder: How they come up with the names of things. Like "milk" or "pillow." You know, just everday things.

i regret: I say "regrets do no one any good" But truth be told, I have a list a mile long, and this post box isn't big enough for all of them. So I'll just say, Regrets do no one any good!

i love: Denny Crane.

i care: About what my children will think of me in 20 years.

i always: carry my keys dangling from my front pocket. Keys tucked inside, Eiffle Tower & LA Fitness keyfob on outside of pocket. Always. If I don't, I spend the next hour trying to locate where I put them. I am definatly my father's daughter regarding all things absent-minded.

i am not: a follower or a leader. I am just me doin' my own thing.

i believe: in say what you mean, mean what you say, but try not to say it mean.

i dance: like Elaine on Seinfeld.

i sing: like nobody's business...in the car. Otherwise, not so much. But in my mind, I am a Big, Black, Soulful Woman who can rock the joint!

i don't always: spend my time wisely. (Example: the pimping of this Tagged! post)

i fight:
with myself internally non-stop about certain situations.

i write: the songs that make the whole world sing. I write the songs of love and sp-eeee-eee-cial things.

i lose: my patience rather quickly, especially during that "oh so special" time of the month.

i win
: at BINGO on cruises! Oh wait, maybe not. Maybe I just THINK i win and yell out BINGO randomly.

i never:
play the lottery. Ever heard the name Jack Whittaker? No thank you.

i listen: to all kinds of music and love it all! (Except jazz & blues)

i am scared
: to verbalize what I'm scared of for fear that it will ACTUALLY happen!

i need: to pee. Thank goodness I'm almost at the end of this.

i am happy about:

No, not the cute little doormat that I got last week at Target for $13.88 on clearance. But I am happy about all the dead little crickets surrounding it! That means when the bug guy was hear a couple of days ago, he had the "real" stuff in his sprayer and not just water like I'm convinced they try to use most of the time!


Do you hear that?


My productive life coming to a screeching halt because my "internets" is up and running again.

And that, my friends, means I'M BACK!!!!!

But apparantly non too soon, because you guys are all losers and are FIRED!

Except U.K.

She can stay.

But the rest of you are SOOOO L.A.M.E. What the heck?


I still have tons to do and sites to check on, but wanted to leave you with this.

If I ever run off and have an affair with a "politician/wanna-be-the-President-of-the-US/MARRIED with a wife who has CANCER/and way too perfect hair" can someone PLEASE make sure that People.com gets a better photo of me than they did of THIS woman.

Thank you.

UPDATE: In the comments section, Chelsea made a BRILLIANT observation about the uncanny resemblance of the Mistress and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith circa 1990's. I did an image search, and she is dead-on. There were several images to choose from to make that point, but I chose to go a different route. This one doesn't really show how similar in apperance they are, but it is priceless non the less. Ladies & Gentlemen I present to you Steven Tyler: Rock God!


Ok, I'll be the first!

This is U.K. Yankee, aka Ax, aka Annike, one of Lana's e-friends. I love this blog, and I hope Lana comes back soon! In the meantime, I thought I'd take her up on her general invitation to guest blog...

I absolutely adore my blog; I've said before it's my substitute baby for the moment! I tried very hard to be a playwright in college - not sure what the ending to that story is going to be - but my blog gives me a chance to get stuff off my chest when I'm feeling particularly witty or clever...nevermind how un-witty or non-clever it turns out sometimes! I've poached ideas off of my friends and family for fun gadgets and gizmos to post, and I put up my favorite songs and favorite pictures I've taken. Since we found out we're moving to Sydney, I've tried to post a new poll each week about Australian slang, and I've even got a visitor counter to see who loves me and where they are!

Through my blog, I've met and been able to stay in touch with so many truly awesome people - like Lana! She is my cousin's husband's aunt, and there is no way we would have got in touch had she not found my blog through my cousin's blog. I've also met a very sweet woman named Carrie, who is an American living in Sydney, who found my blog while doing a Google search for another cousin. I've re-connected with an old childhood friend, two college roommates who I'd completely lost touch with, become better friends with several of my cousins and their spouses/future spouses, and stayed in touch with tons of friends from college. I've also been able to feel like I'm still a part of the events in my mom's and siblings's lives, even though we're so far apart now.

Living in England, and not having gobs of money for phone calls and plane fares, this is my way of staying in touch with people who matter to me. It's also my way of making new friends and sharing common interests. So while it may seem silly to some to count people as friends before you've met in person or when you haven't seen them in years, they keep me connected to things past and familiar, and help me get excited about things in the future that are sometimes pretty scary.

Thinking about all this, I'm so grateful for our cyber-community and the way the world is so small nowadays! I know there are plenty of people skeptical about putting your life out there on view for everyone, but personally, I think it's great. I love seeing what adventures my nieces and nephews get up to, how my college friends are handling the transition to real life and marriage and families, and feeling like I'm not out of their lives because I'm so far away.

In the spirit of sharing, and in keeping with the idea of globalism and multiculturalism (and for the rest of you who like a good laugh), I will end now with a favorite YouTube video for everyone's enjoyment...This is Peter Kay, one of my favorite British comedians, and possibly just as funny, if not more so, than the Python boys. Here is a commerical he did for John Smith beer, which always makes me giggle! (Hopefully everyone can understand him with his accent, if not, leave a note in the comments and I'll come back and translate.)


P.S. Come back soon, Lana!


Shanell made a comment in the previous post about the services I provide in bringing only the best contents of the web to this site. It occured to me that I've never posted my most FAVORITE YouTube clip of all time. I will do that now. Your welcome.

And yes, apparantly I am a 39 year old woman with the mind of an 11 year old boy, because that is THE FUNNIEST clip EVER no matter how many times I've watched it.




Scout Camp

While we were gone to Seattle, Austin was off to Scout Camp.

Backstory: Austin is not a fan of leaving the house. EVER. We've had to bribe him to go to Disneyland, the movies, treats, EVERYTHING. If he was told he just won a million dollars but had to go out to pick it up, he'd pass on it. He's also not a complainer, if I tell him he must do something, he just does it.

So anyways, I had to have him stay with my mother-in-law a couple days before hand, and she dropped him off to camp for us.

Well, they were to come home yesterday, and all morning I was so nervous that he would never speak to me again for making him go. The last long campout he went on he walked through the front door saying "Mom, Can I PLEASE quit Scouts?" I told him as soon as he got his Eagle, he would no longer have to go if that is what he wished.

So yesterday about 2-ish my phone rings, its Austin.

"Mom, I missed you so much, we're back, can you come pick me up?"

When we got there he was SO happy to see us. But the best thing?

He got 7....SEVEN...Merit Badges!

And, I think he even had a good time.



At dinner Thursday night, we had a Cross-Eyed Contest.

You know, 'cause were sophisticated like that.

Contestant #1

Contestant #2

Contestant #3

Ummm...okay, I know that Contestant #3 looks a little....how do I say this?


He's not.

He's just new at these "contests".

Wait. No he's not.

He was the creator of them.

I have no explanation.


Is anyone else having trouble with blogger? It won't let me post pictures the last few times, i don't know if it's them or me.


Mama Mia!


1.  Who in the heck did the casting for this movie?  They need to be fired.

2.  Was there no one in Hollywood available that could sing?  If they would have told me, I could have gave them my ward list and they would have done a better job.

3.  If  Sophie (the daughter) is 20 and her mom got pregnant with her in late teens-21'ish, than WHY was the mother who played her at least 60?  As well as EVERY other lead in the movie? (not that there is anything thing wrong with 60 year olds, but they're supposed to be 40!!!!!)

I HATED it!  I was so disappointed.  With the amount of money spent on making it, why was it SO crappy?  I did kind of like Sophie, but that's it!

I'm so annoyed right now, can you tell?

If you saw the movie, tell me your thoughts.


I am so upset!  

I'm not sure what has happened, but all of the photos I took yesterday are gone!  

Just vanished. 

I went to load them, and the photos from the day before are there, but not yesterdays!  

We had the most amazing day.  Tacoma is absolutly gorgeous.  They have a high school that puts "Hogwarts" to shame.  Stadium High is a public school and it overlooks Puget Sound, we were able to go inside and the classrooms have windows that overlook the water.  I pulled some images so you could see.

(Blogger is being really weird that last few days, at least for me, I'll try and post more later about yesterday)


Sleepless in Seattle

Well, we got off to Seattle and had a GREAT flight! And
THANK GOODNESS we were seated in the comforts
of First Class (gotta love those last minute upgrades!),
and did
not have to deal with ANYTHING like this:

And then when we landed, we got off the plane and I had
to pee SO BAD! We go in the first bathroom we come to,
and guess what we saw?


A real live nun.

I can't tell you how excited Holly & Emmy were about
this nun encounter. And, I think she may even have
been a "foreign" nun. She was wearing a blue nun
"outfit", just like the little nuns in Madeline! (or maybe
that is "standard attire", my nun knowledge is VERY
LITTLE) I wanted to take a picture of the girls & the
nun, but they wouldn't let me.


That's all.

Ta-ta for now!

(The video is not working and I am VERY sad
about this. It is probably "Blogger Karma" for
me making fun of people and their lack of socially
acceptable behavior, lack of dental & bodily
hygiene and their homely, unruly kids.)


Current: Envy, Obsession & Love


Actress Helen Mirren- age 63


Although NOT a good idea for breakfast, or maybe it was the Pink Lemonade Pie that followed it!?


Jason Mraz - I'm Yours
My newly discovered love & obsession of sushi, is NOT a good idea for breakfast.


Little Children

I have Shanell's Girls while she is at girls' camp. (1,2,5 & 6)

Can I just tell you how much pressure I feel at keeping them alive & unharmed?

SO GLAD I do not have small kids anymore! You can't take your eyes off of them for 1 second!


Holly walked through the front door yelling "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

I went to see what on earth was wrong with her.

She stood there holding this:

What in Holy Hell were they thinking?


A Born Writer!

I came across a box of mine from childhood, and decided to take a quick peek inside. On the top was a book "All About Me" you know, the kind where you fill in the blank spots. For the most part, it is empty. However, there was one page that had writing on it.

The page title is "POEM" here is what I wrote:

There is a fat green frog
Who thought he needed to jog
He jogged all night
Because he was afraid of the light
He jogged with a dog.

Proof that even at the age of 10, I had mad, impressive writing skills.


Thanks for all the B-Day well wishes, made my day! I had a "special" little something I was going to post, but am going CRAZY trying to figure out how to do it. Figuring out how to do It is now OFFICIALLY my new obsession!
So, does your hairstylist call and personally sing Happy Birthday to You? Yeah...I didn't think so! Thanks Chelsea!

I've Been Tagged!

By the cutest little red-head around!

Here's how this "Tag" works. List 3 Joys, 3 Fears, 3 Goals, 3 Current Obsessions/Collections, 3 Surprising Facts about yourself. Then tag 5 people at the end of your post.

3 JOYS...
* You know how when babies start talking & walking it is SO cute and you can't get enough of it? Then after awhile it's like "enough already..SIT down & BE QUIET!" WELL....Right now I'm in the first stages of teenage-hood and I gotta say - I L.O.V.E. it! We missed out on having it 24/7 with the older boys so it's kind of all new. But I love the snark, the quick-witted comebacks they have with each other, and the "attitude" comments I get when I ask them to do something. MOST of the time, It cracks me up (although I am smart enough not to show it). Also, all the new "stages" we are in are providing SO much funny moments right now, it's a real shame I have taken a vow of blogging silence regarding the children and their mishaps, because some of them are GOLD!

* My dogs. I love them. I never knew that animals could have personalities. They just make me so happy, even when I have to help them out of a predicament. Like yesterday, with Muffin, and her part moist/part hard, VERY large dingleberry.

* Above all...My family & my life. I just have a really, really, nice life.

3 FEARS...
* Dying before I'm done living.

* NOT dying, but becoming incapacitated, AND STILL living.

* Dying, and then Bill getting some hooch pregnant and she takes everything we've worked so hard to build together and is mean to my kids.

3 GOALS...
* Not obsessing over things I have NO CONTROL over.

* Being able to go topless & wear a thong, and LOOK GOOD while doing it, wherever we are next year for our 40th B-Days! (JUST KIDDING!

* Getting everything done that I need to do in the next 3 days.

* Strangely enough, I am not obsessed over anything right now.

* My last obsession ended yesterday. Hallelujah! I had seen some paper at a Target FAR AWAY about a month ago when I met up with Dominic for breakfast. I didn't buy it. Couldn't stop thinking about it. Looked at 10 different Targets by me for it, couldn't find it. Looked online, no luck. FINALLY drove back to original Target yesterday and bought EVERY SINGLE THING in the product line. I immediately felt such peace and satisfaction.

* Can't think of another one. Gimmie a minute, I'm sure one will be RIGHT AROUND the corner.

* I'm not a talker.

* I have NEVER drank milk. (excluding probably in bottle)

* My closet is a COMPLETE disaster again.

I tag Julie, UK, and YOU if you have not done this yet!


A-Z about me

A*age- 39
B*birthday- July 6
C*candy or cake- neither
D*dessert you love- creme brule or a scoop of ice cream with a crushed cone on top
E*easiest person to talk to-I don't really "talk" a whole lot, but if I "need" to, about 1 or 2 times a year I'll call Denise (my sister)
F*favorite song- WAAYYYY too many. I LOVE music.
G*gold or silver- depends on the outfit
I*instruments you play- none.
J*Job title-
K*kids- 5
L*love or lust- that would be LUSTful LOVE!
M*Married, single or taken- married
N*next to you- empty
O*one wish-That my kids have no struggles. But, I know that struggles are what make like worth living and what make you grow & learn. So, my wish is that they come out of any struggle a better person!
P*person you called last-LoveStud.
Q*Quotes-....What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Ralph Waldo Emerson
R*reasons to smile- because I am a very blessed girl.
S*steak or pork- steak
T*turns you on-
U*unique talent-
V*vegetable- I can't name just 1...how will the others feel?
I LOVE veggies!!!!
W*woke up at what time- 3:43 a.m.
X*X-rays you have had- teeth, neck
Y*your favorite color- Again....how can I pick just one?
Z*zodiac sign- cancer

I tag Julie, UK and YOU!

Now I have to get back to work!



I'm SO glad I'm Married!

Because I could not handle dating or dodging phone calls like this.

http://view.break.com/527579 - Watch more free videos
Holly: Mom?

Me: Yeah.

Holly: If my gums EXPLODED and blood was GUSHING OUT everywhere, would I go to the Emergency Room or the dentist?

This is what you get when the pool is hotter than your bath water, you've watched Disney's Camp Rock 23 times and have EVERY line memorized (not that it's tough dialouge), have baked your brains out & done every craft imagineable.

You now envison that a trip to the Emergency Room sounds fun.


It's the Arte y Pico award!
Ain't she purdy?

Now of course the beauty of the award is that we get to pass it around and make others feel special. So without further ado my 5 nominees are:

My good friend Drama. Because I love her and this award specifies design creativity and I just adore her retro ladies.
My good friend Star at Late to the Party. I hope this guilts... um encourages her to post more often because I love reading her blog.
My cyber stalkee, Jason of The Jason Show because he makes me laugh, a lot, out loud. But not so much this week. I am hoping this will make him smile today!
My newest fan, Lana at Where's My Laptop, who stole one of my post ideas and MADE MY WEEK ya'll!
And one of my newer additions to my reader, Aimeepalooza who is currently out stalking one of my favorite stars Drew Barrymore.

Here are the rules for those that were nominated:
Pick five (5) blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.
Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.
Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award (http://arteypico.blogspot.com/)
Now go forth and share the love!
So, apparantly a memo went out this morning that is was going to be "Let's Get on Lana's LAST FREAKIN' NERVE day!"

....and EVERYONE I came across complied with the memo.


How was your weekend?

Because mine was Fab-U-Lous!

Sit down, because your going to be JEALOUS!
  • We had a Tie-Dye-Palooza!

  • Went to Wal-Mart to get some movies & treats for Movie Night and overheard some pretty priceless WM employee conversations.

  • Watched Sydney White & The 7 Dorks. LOVED it!

  • We went to a Cheer meeting where we found out that Emmy made the "Blazzin' Hotties" squad! Yea, Em!
(FYI: Googling "Blazzin' Hotties" image for blog...NOT A GOOD IDEA! Hence the reason there is NO IMAGE here)

  • Took Holly to Ulta for a BM Tutorial/Makeover. (For the Record: She does NOT NEED MAKE-UP, this was solely for her and if SHE wanted to wear it on occasion.)

  • Did a DT run at In-N-Out and got some fries!

  • Went to Dinner with Dale & Shanell
Despite appearances, there was NO ALCOHOL involved in the making of this photo!


Public Service Announcement: #1


Not Funny.
Not Sad.

Just Informative.

Because that, Dear Reader, is just how much I care about you!

In the past 2 weeks I have discovered 3 new products, and after giving them a trial period, I feel I can now recommend.

1. OPI Nail Polish #s86 Bubble Bath

For YEARS I have searched for the perfect not clear/but sheer nail polish. They were either too white, too pink or to opaque. This week I found it. OPI's Bubble Bath is perfect if your looking for just a "finished" look to a natural nail.

2. BareMinerals Blemish Therapy

I LOVE BareMinerals make-up. Between it & my "niece" Julie's Face treatments, my life has been changed. Now they have this new product for blemish's, it works & I love it.

3. CFL's. (Compact Florescent Lights)

Up until recently, I've pretty much ignored the "hype" in regards to CFL's. I have been CONVERTED! And like any person who has had a conversion of some type, I feel the need to now convert everyone I know! I'll put it as simple as I know how: If you don't convert to CFL's then you are just being dumb. They save a TON of money on your electric bill, and they now come in EVERY size you would ever need. They last for 5 years. PLUS, if you check around you can find them for very cheap. Sam's Club carries multi-packs and Basha's & Food City are offering them at about $1. 30 a piece through a program subsidized by SRP. If not in my area, contact your energy provider and I'm sure they can direct you were to find them cheapest.

Bonus Product Recommendation:

If you are like me, and eat a whole watermelon per day covered in chili spices, and maybe need to switch off to something else for a bit, then head over to your nearest Food City or Mexican Mart and purchase Mango Con Chili.

That's right my friends, Chili covered Mango's! Once again, proof that "Dreams Really Do Come True."


In-N-Out Burger, for those not familiar with the name, is a popular fast food Hamburger establishment. Their menu is very simple & cheap. I think they started out on the West Coast many years ago. I first became familiar with the name back in high school, so its been over 25 years now. The "cool kids" would come back from Spring Break after going to Cali, and they would all stand around and snicker about the bumper stickers they got but so cleverly altered to say "In-N-Out urge" Other than that, I had never been to it myself.

Well, about 5 or 6 years ago, they started popping up here, everyone was SO excited. I could've cared less, it barely made a "blip" on my radar. When I shared this fact with Chelsea & Shanell, they were both SOOO upset. It was like I had just told them the Easter Bunny's not real. By the way, he's not. They insisted that I must go and try it.

A few weeks passed.

Then 2 weeks ago we needed nourishment, and there in front of us, it was. We decided that that would be the day to give it a try. We pull in the parking lot and precede to take our place in the drive-thru line. We were about Car #52. That is were I first became impressed. We got up to the talking box in about 3 minutes. I looked at the menu, it was very simple. We decide that we will all just get a single & fries.

So I say: We'd like 4 hamburgers, 4 fries & 4 waters (my kids don't drink pop, another story-another day)

Drive-Thru Girl says: Will you be eating that in the car?

Me: What did you just say?


Me: Um, yes. Why?

DTG: Because we will package it in an open tray for you so it's easier for you to eat.

ME: OMG! I'm in love with you!

DTG. Okay! Well, we'll see ya at the window!

They handed me the tray with golden deliciousness inside. The fries were perfectly lightly salted and pipping hot! (To be honest, I ate the hamburger, but for me it was just, meh. But I'm not a burger person. But the fries...TO DIE FOR!)

So, there you have it! I have been denying myself this experience for all these years.

So to make up for lost time, we have ate it just about everyday this summer. This is us yesterday. Just look how happy I am, I'm about to stuff a big, fat wad of fries in my mouth! YUM.

In-N-Out Burger

True Confession Thursday

I stole the TCT from Karen

If your smart, then you have picked up on the little nuances that I LOVE Angelina Jolie and add Brad Pitt on top of that and I'm obsessed. But here's the kicker and where the True Confession comes in to play.

Bill has NO IDEA.

Right now your thinking, Who cares? How can he not know? What's the big deal?

To you, I say...Do. The. Math.

If he knew I liked her, he would think I meant I "LIKED" her.

That means if we ran into Circle K real quick to get a drink or whatever, when we went to checkout, He'd be all like, "Ohhhh, Do you see who's on the cover of People?"

Makes Googly eyes. Raises eyebrows up and down.

Or if we're flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch.

"Hey, Mr. & Mrs. Smith is on, do you want to watch it. An-ge-li-naaaa's in it!"

Again, googly eyes. Raises eyebrows up & down.

So now we're at the point where I've got a REAL problem. She has a new movie coming out called, Wanted, it looks SO good, and it's getting great reviews. AND the movie poster is H.O.T.

I DESPERATELY want to see it. Will I tell him?



I will just do like I do with all the other movies, news items, stories, etc. that have to do with her.

I will put on an Award Winning Performance.

In a store browsing around a few months from now:

Bill: Hey Lana, have you heard anything about this movie?

Me: What's it called?

Bill: Wanted. It's got some guy I've never heard of and that girl with the brown hair & all the tattoo's.

Lana: Oh, the one that was in Transformer's?

Bill: Um, no I don't think so, I think it's the one that was in Mr & Mrs. Smith.

Lana: Oh. I haven't heard of it. Well, there's nothing else that looks good, so you might as well get it. Mission Accomplished!

Yeah, I bet he's doing a True Confession of his own.

Dear Blog,
I LOVE Angelina!
But Lana has no idea,
I pretend I don't know who she is......


My New Calling in Life: Dog Groomer

When the header photo above was taken, it was kind of spur of the moment. It was around Christmas/New Year's and the dogs hadn't been to the groomers, etc. But it didn't matter, because they are ALWAYS beautiful to me. (ahhhh...Crazy Dog Lady here)

Well, that photo is now a 2'x6' canvas on my wall, and I realized just how mangy they were, so I started cutting their hair at home.

Now the back story here is that I have been PERMANENTLY BANNED from any type of hair cutting device, or from cutting any living creature weather they are human or animal. Back in the day, we were way, way poor. SO in order to try and save money I would give the boys haircuts at home. I was so bad, that Austin's nickname became "Patches" because that is what his head was after a sit down with me. Finally Bill put his foot down and said no more. From then on we would "save up" for the $8.00 child's special at SuperCuts.

So fast forward to now, and I am back to giving haircuts. But here's the thing, each time I do it I get better and better. But I think Bill just associates it with the time period from before which was just awful. Well I told him yesterday, that I have found my new calling in life.

Dog Groomer.

Yep. I'm serious, I enjoy it SO much that I SERIOUSLY am thinking of maybe going to Dog Grooming Cosmetology School. You should have seen me doing Brutus/Ruffus. He just sat on my lap the whole time and when I did his little face, he just closed his eyes and was so patient. Now granted, I am only able to offer one type of cut, which Bill is calling the "Summer Special" (the equivalent of a boy's buzz-cut done on the back porch)

But hey, ya gotta start somewhere right?

Oh, and by the way, the other day I gave Austin a hair-cut too, and it looked EXACTLY like I had taken him to the usual barber they go to!

So Ha!

(Chelsea, if you are reading this then I know at this point you are probably REALLY nervous about your standing as my Hair Stylist. For now, you are safe and so is my hair. My confidence has not yet reached the levels where I feel I can do MY own hair-cuts. But beware, if I keep at this pace, it's only a matter of time.)


The makeover has taken place.

This is who I used for inspiration. Muffin, My Baby, The BEST most sweetest dog ever put on the earth.

BEFORE: Brutus/Ruffus (Really, the photo does not portray the extreme hideousnous. I wasn't able to "capture" the matts or all the dingle-berries!

AFTER: Again...NOT perfect, but at least he can see now!

But alas...there is only so much a pair of sciccors can do. The dog is STILL retarded. Tomorrow I shall check out my Lobotomy giving skills!


A Sad, Sad Story...Costco Edition

(Author's Note: Not TRULY sad)


Over the weekend, Bill, Emmy & I go to Costco. We've got our TWO fully loaded carts of Heaven and we are headed to the checkout, we come to the books/movies/DVD's and I decide that I want a movie, so we park our carts by the booze so we only have to maneuver our bodies through the sea of people. (BTW, we decided to go to the brand new one that replaced the old one that all the old people and clueless people went to. We THOUGHT it would be better since they had relocated it. Nope. If your in my area and thinking of giving that location (Sossamon Rd.) a try, DON"T DO IT!!!!!) Anywhoo, where was I?

Ah yes, movie section.

Bill's lookin. Emmy's lookin. I'm lookin. And we don't really see anything except MAYBE the Will Ferrel movie where he is wearing the shorty shorts. But really, that could go either way. As in way funny or way STUPID. SO we give it the passover. I say maybe we could look for a TV series we haven't seen but have wanted to try. So we all go to lookin again.

On the floor underneath the tables I see a box with cute colored DVD cases. This looks like it could be promising. I crouch down, and peer in the box.

It's "Sex & The City" all the different seasons.

I get all excited, so I call Bill over.

Me: Bill, how about this? You know, it's not something we all can watch, but it might be good for at night instead of night 26,537 of Law & Order.

B: Hmmm...

Me: I heard it's really good. My little UK Friend loves it! Her husband surprised her and took her to go see the movie on opening day, she said it is SOOO good.

B: Your UK friend?

Me: Yeah, you know, the one who's moving to Australia.

B: The one from "Blog World"?

Me: smiling, nodding head. "Uh-huh." Yeah. her.

B: He just stands there shaking his head, thinking what a sad, sad, little wife he has.

At that moment, that country song starts playing in my head. If you don't know it, the lyrics are below.

I am suddenly the people I make fun of.

But I like it, SO THERE!

Artist: Paisley Brad
Song: Online
Album: 5th Gear

I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire under my yak
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’ll see ya online



So Brutus/Ruffus is back for a 2 week-long stay.

He is hideous.

I really want to give him a hair-cut, but Bill says it is not socially acceptable to cut a dog's hair without the consent of the owner.

I say pshaw! (is that how you spell that?)

If you call someone at 10:30 pm the night before you leave for a 2 week-long vacay asking for dog-boarding services because YOU FORGOT YOU HAD A DOG and did not plan for his care in your absence, than that is the chance you take!

So.....I will patiently wait until Monday morning when Bill leaves for work, and then I shall whip out my mad grooming skills and the make-over will begin!!!!



Gardiner, New York

Dear "Gardiner, New York",


I've tried for months now not to obsess over you, but I am losing the battle. You are driving me crazy!

I see you on my meter, but according to it, you do not stay. Ever. You just pop up on the radar as Gardiner, New York. Length of stay...0 seconds. ZERO! If I'm not worthy of staying and checking out, then why do you continue to check in? What am I doing or not doing to keep your interest?


I can't handle this.

Should I be worried? 'Cause I gotta tell you, I kinda am.

Will you please say Hi.

Or at the very least, let me know when you'll be coming to kill me. I'm a little OCD and would like to have things done.

Thank You,

P.S. I'm all for stalking, cause trust me when I say, I do it too. But I'm just a girl who thinks wayyy too much and most of the people who come by, I know. The others are those that I have stalked and they found me! :) I would just love to know why you don't stay, let me know what I can do about that.

P.S.S. I just thought of something else, maybe Gardiner, NY is not a person, but location for RSS feed or Google Reader or something else. If ANYONE knows what this could be, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!!
Yes, It is ONLY June , and I am complaining about the heat. I know...I hate people like me too.

I have lived through 39 Arizona summers, I know the drill. But THIS summer is different.

In summers past, I know its 120 degrees OUTSIDE, but INSIDE of MY house it is always a cool 68 degrees. (at least as long as I've not been under somebody else's roof) Along with that coolness however, comes a $700 - $900 monthly electric bill. Which I have always GLADLY paid. It keeps me happy and my husband & children alive, 'cause when I get hot, I get cranky. REALLY cranky.


I lied

...But not on purpose.

If you stopped by while I had the post "A Small Crisis" up (it has since been taken off, obviously), then I apologize. You see, I had promised a story of Lynn & Ellen (my parents).

Unfortunately for you, I will not be able to fulfill my promise.

I have learned that writing about murder, gun-totting elderly people, gangs of clowns and neighborhoods going up in flames is proving to be more difficult then I intially thought. If I proceed with said post, I will surely end up in hell (if the ticket has not ALREADY been reserved for me.)

So, just take this warning from me: Tell your kids, your pets, the mexicans and anyone you know that doesn't keep their front yards properly maintained, to keep a safe distance & a watchful eye out, because there is an almost 76-year old hard of hearing, senile old man applying for a concealed weapon license, and he is just ITCHING to have the chance to use it!

You have been warned.

Ly.nn & Ell.en: The Murder-Part 1

Disclaimer: When I recount the following story, please note that I am NOT MAKING FUN or in ANYWAY dimishing the life that was lost. I am making fun of my parents reactions to said events. Got it? Good.

Okay...Here we go.

So, 3 Sunday's ago, I was sitting on the couch procrasting about getting ready for church. I was perusing the internets, like I like to do. I went to AZ.Cen.tral and and on the front page I see this headline:


Happy Father's Day!

or in the case of this hastily made card by Emmy....

Happy "FARTER'S" Day!

Either way, it works!

My Little Flyer!

Here is a little video of Miss Em, she is doing "Flight School" for Cheerleading. She is LOVING it, but it scares me EVERY TIME! This was the !st time she did anything, then my battery died!


Oh Noooo!!!!!

It looks like I've got an emergency to take care of!

This was the headline on People.com when i just checked in:

Kid Rock Hospitalized for Dehydration!

I'm off to "play" nurse. While I'm gone, I leave you this:

(There shall be NO negative comments regarding: my lack of judgement, my taste in music, my love of white trash men, or the stripper pole on the boat.)


In Case I Drop Dead

Okay, I figured this was a good reason to come out of hibernation.

Bill has taken the kids away for a few days so I could pack with them out of my hair.

Last night I was STARVING! So I went and got take-out from Some burrow's Mexican Food. I got Beef Enchilada's, chips & hot sauce (no salsa 'cause of the whole tomato "crisis") and guacamole. I came home and set it on the counter and went to turn the TV on. I got sidetracked and FORGOT TO EAT MY FOOD!

A couple hours pass, I do some packing, then go to bed.

I wake up this morning and go out to the kitchen, there on the counter is my food. "Oh yeah, I got enchilada's last night. No wonder I'm so hungry this morning, I didn't eat them."

I sat there for a few minutes contemplating weather they were safe to still eat or if they already gotten somanilla or e-coli or whatever it is food gets.

I ate it.

It was SO YUMMY!

I hope I don't die.


Taking a Break

(We'll see how long I last, I might be back by dinner.)


Its so funny how if you take one child out of the mix everything changes. Holly left for camp yesterday morning, and boy was it quiet around here yesterday! Emmy is SO bored without her here, no one to bicker with. Emmy & I went to our first Tuesday Morning Breakfast of the summer, just the two of us, that was fun. Then yesterday afternoon, her & I went for a walk, we saw so many little critters! We saw Cotton-tail rabbits, ground squirrels, Roadrunners, Lizards, desert toads, etc.

I think today her and I will make Tiramisu Cupcakes. So yummy.


Bullets (that's all I got)

• Yesterday at church, everyone kept coming up and saying "Did you get your hair cut?" after about the 10th idiot person asking this, it was all I could do not to give a complete smarta** comment in return. I'm bad.

• A friend called Thursday as they were going out of town and asked if we could watch her dog, I said yes. The thing is, I think they might abuse him. EVERY time we go to pet him or pick him up he he flinches & cowers. It's so sad. They have 4 boys, so yeah, I'm sure the dog has seen his fair share of tail yanking. Also, his name is Brutus, but for some reason my brain can't comprehend that, I keep calling him Ruffus.

• Holly leaves for Girls Camp tomorrow, have to get her all ready.

• Austin got his braces on last week, he hasn't spoke since then. So sad. He's in a lot of pain.

• Emmy's pink glitter shoes FINALLY had a blow out. These are the shoes that Dominic had a fit over that I was buying them for her, and I quote, "I can't believe you are buying those hideous shoes. If she keeps up these fashion choices, she is one step away from living in a trailer park." Not sure where all the outrage for pink glitter is coming from, but he REALLY had a problem with them.

• I really should be doing laundry right now. I do NOT want to.


Me & The Birthday Girl

Yikes! She's as tall as me.

Happy 14th Birthday Holly!

14 years. Wow.

None of our children were planned, on our end, and they all know that. Which just goes to prove that just because WE don't have a plan, doesn't mean there is not a PLAN FOR US, Holly is proof of this. I was pregnant and had a miscarriage and then almost 3 months later got pregnant again, this time with Holly. This child was CHOSEN for US, no doubt in my mind.

She is just a GOOD, GOOD person. She was born with a hyper-sensitive moral compass (which comes in handy when dealing with her parents.) As Chelsea so perfectly said the other day, "When Holly was born, they forgot to take off her halo before they sent her down from Heaven." So True.

Also, the girl is FIERCELY loyal. She will defend your honor and NEVER talk behind your back. You can tell her ANYTHING and she will take it to the grave if that's what you ask of her. If it's something that NEEDS to be told, she will try to convince you to do the right thing, but will not do it for you.

Holly got her name from a character in a movie; Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's, my all-time favorite. One day, when I was about 4 months pregnant, it just hit me. I KNEW she would be "a" Holly. The character is smart, funny, eccentric, naive, innocently mischievous, and loyal. All of these things ARE MY Holly. And, the girl knows how to have FUN!

I love You Holly, and I'm so happy I get to be your mom!

Happy Birthday!