3.11.2008

Happy Birthday D

Today is my sister's birthday.

I'm kind of "Jehovah's Witness" in the sense that I don't really "do" birthdays after a certain age or holidays. I just don't believe in them. If I see something I think you'll like or know someone needs something, I just do it. To me it has more meaning that way, to know that I have randomly thought about you. But if an actual birthday or Valentines Day or whatever comes along, don't go waiting by the phone or the mailbox, because you probably won't hear from me. (Note to D&S: See, this is how I roll, so just roll with it and know what I do is a gift, if it helps you, think of it as random birthday gifts throughout the year.) And if I love you, I'm going to tell you or show you, I'm not going to wait for a silly day on the calender.

Anyways, back to my sister. Considering the above philosphy, you must know how much she means to me, since I'm giving her a present. This post.

There is a 10 year age gap between me & her, so it never really "felt" like I had sisters growing up, the difference was just too wide. But I'm so grateful for it now because it has given me the opportunity to be able to watch the different stages of her life unfold, and then try to emmulate them in my own. Like a math equation: I see the results she gets, than I break it down to figure out how she got them. She truly has been the biggest influence in my life. I've told her that before, but I don't think she gets how true it is. I once was telling her how great I thought one of her kids was, and she looked at me and said, "Thank You, but don't tell me, tell them." I learned so much from that simple statement. It's often that we do our most "gushing" to random people instead of to the ones that its about, we go on & on about how great our kids/spouse is to others, instead of to them.

Here are just a few of the life lessons I've learned from her:

You don't respond to gossip. Ever.

You've had lots of bad experiences, and ALL of them have made you stronger, you'll get through this and be a better person because it.

Not talking about your problems to everyone doesn't mean you are trying to make people think you have this perfect little life, its about respecting the relationships that you have.

It's not your job to expose or talk about everyone's faults or trials, especially when it comes to your kids & your spouse.

If you have a problem, COMMUNICATE with THAT person, and get it worked out.

When you make a mistake, own it & learn from it. No excuses.

When someone gives you a compliment, say Thank You. (still working on that)

Success that you have is about effort and being blessed. Not luck or accident. Same with having good relationships, it's not by chance, it's about the effort you put into it.

Choose your love and love your choice. Okay, that one actually came from her equally great husband, but never before had I heard such profound words. It has had such a big impact on me and the way I live my life, I apply it to EVERYTHING! Once you make a choice, there is NO SENSE looking back or wondering what might have been had you chosen differently.

Really, I could go on & on with the wisdom I've gleaned from observing her. She has wonderful relationships with all of her children AND their spouses. I watched how she raised her kids when they were little and now I'm getting to learn how to have fun, fulfilling relationships with your kids when they are adults.

So, D., I love you, You mean the world to me! Thank you for letting me come live with you when I was not married with a 6 month old little boy, even though you had a full house of your own, you made room for me. I was a complete jerk the WHOLE time, but you never said an unkind thing to me. Not when I left my make-up out time after time and the twins got into it, or even when I called the twins "Brats." (Sorry M & A, I was a self absorbed nit wit.) You fiercely defended the honor of your 2-year old little girls without belittling me.

Thank you for buying me all those maternity clothes when I was pregnant with Dominic, because you knew I couldn't afford it.

Thank you for taking me to Cisco's for lunch when I was little and telling me I could order ANYTHING on the menu, even though you knew I would not be able to eat it all.

Thank you for taking me to that Classic Car Show in Phoenix, and when we got lost and had to go into a store to ask for directions, you saw that I saw, that they had Chemin De Fer jeans in my size (THEE jeans at the time) and you told me to find a pair that I liked and you bought them for me.

I'm not trying to put you on a pedestal, because everyone knows what happens when you do THAT. I just know that sometimes people wonder if they've done anything that made a difference in this world, you have. Me. I just want you to know I admire you, and you have had a HUGE impact on how I live my life and raise my family. Thank you.

Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day, you certainly deserve it.

5 comments:

Denise said...

The best birthday present any one could receive. Thank you so much. I love you too.

Crewton said...

Amen to everything you said1

Shanell said...

I couldn't have done any justice to a post I wanted to do about her. That was perfect and said it all. Thanks for thinking of my mom and for letting the world know how awesome she is{BTW I totally couldn't get through the first paragraph with out crying}

chelseahall said...

Sorry I am a little late reading this. But Lana that was FABULOUS!!! YOu hit everything on the head. I too couldn't get through it without shedding some tears. YOu are such a great aunt and friend to us all.

auburn and chris said...

I am way late... and just catching up on the world... my MOM does rock. she seriously is my bffl. Thanks for sharing, Lana... tears are still coming, but I wish everyone knew how amazing this lady is! Just wait till your kids are older and married... they will for sure say the same things about you. You rock, lana